A Right to Remain Read online

  Table of Contents

  A Right To Remain

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Also by Beth Rinyu:

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Chapter 43

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  Chapter 1 Easy Silence

  A

  Right

  To

  Remain

  Beth Rinyu

  Copyright

  A Right to Remain

  Copyright © 2016 by Beth Rinyu

  All rights reserved

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of Beth Rinyu, except for the use of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

  Cover design by: RE Creatives

  Editing by: Lawrence Editing

  Proofread by: Judy’s Proofreading

  Formatting by: Affordable Formatting

  Dedication

  This book is dedicated to my best friend, Heather for kicking chemo and cancers butt! Your positive attitude and strength amaze me.

  Also by Beth Rinyu

  The Exception To The Rule

  Drowning In Love

  Blind Side Of Love

  An Unplanned Lesson

  An Unplanned Life

  A Cry For Hope

  A Will To Change

  Easy Silence

  When The Chips Are Down

  Two Of Hearts

  Straight To The Heart

  Chapter 1

  Quinn

  “Quinn, are you even listening?”

  I broke myself from my daydreaming and stared into Sara’s deep blue eyes, clearing my throat and nodding as she and the therapist gazed upon me, waiting for some type of response. The problem was, I wasn’t paying attention, so I didn’t know how to answer. I hadn’t heard a word that was said in the past half hour of sitting on that over-stuffed couch, breathing in an array of scents that were supposed to have a calming effect on me, but instead they were doing the exact opposite. Maybe Sara was right. Maybe that was the problem all along. I never really did pay attention. Perhaps that’s why the woman I’d been married to for the past six years decided to cheat on me. Sara always accused me of never being focused on our marriage and putting my job first instead. Sure, I may have been committed to my job, but I was even more committed to Sara. We’d known each other since high school but hadn’t dated until a few years after graduation when we’d met again at a party.

  Sara was the love of my life. Or at least I thought she was. Now, I wasn’t so sure. I would always give her a second look in high school, but she didn’t give me the time of day. She was part of the “smart crowd,” involved in all the activities I couldn’t care less about, like student government and key club. She only dated guys in the honor society and with a four-year college plan. I didn’t have either of those things going for me. My focus in high school was playing football, fixing up old cars, and managing to get just enough credits to graduate. So, while Sara went away and did the college thing, I figured out what I wanted to do with my life. I somehow found my way into the local Police Department, courtesy of my uncle who was a retired police officer and on my case to pursue it from the time I had graduated. So, here I was eleven years later, with a decent career, a good pension, and a failing marriage. I would be naïve to say I didn’t see it slowly begin to fall apart between Sara and me. Five unsuccessful years of trying to conceive, planned out sex right down to the minute, constantly arguing over my crazy work schedule…yeah, all the signs were there. But once she finally got pregnant, all of our problems disappeared. She was happy, so I was happy, until the day she gave birth to our baby when she was only twenty-two weeks pregnant, only to have him pass away one week later. It was hard for me to watch the pain she was in and even harder to bury my son who never really stood a chance. I remained strong, or at least tried to for her until she began to push me farther and farther away.

  Did I think she would go as far as being unfaithful? That’s a tough question. If someone had asked me years ago, I would have without a doubt replied with a “no.” But looking back and knowing all I know now…my answer may be different.

  Sara commuted to New York City every day where she worked for a big investment broker. She started that job several years ago and that’s when I began to see a change in her. I knew the infertility was adding to the stress of our marriage, but something about that job changed her. She formed a superiority complex, turning her nose up at everyone she felt wasn’t on her level…including me. Late nights. Overnight business trips. Her rich bachelor boss, whom she would always put up on a pedestal when she spoke of him. All the signs were there, and I chose to ignore them, becoming more immersed in my job and working with the undercover unit just to escape the reality that was my life.

  “Quinn, what do you think it would take to put your marriage back together?” the therapist repeated the question, staring at me intently as she shifted her glasses on top of her head.

  “I’m not really sure.” I cleared my throat and looked over at Sara, who was staring off into space, biting her bottom lip. The same look she always had right before she was ready to burst into tears. “It would take me being able to trust her again, and for her to accept that it may be just us for the rest of our lives, and we may never have another child.”

  Sara sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes as if my words pained her.

  The therapist turned her chair ever so slightly in Sara’s direction. “Sara, do you think you can do that?” Her words were soft and gentle, talking to Sara as if she were a shattered piece of glass, when I was the one who had my heart ripped to pieces. I not only lost my son, but I lost my wife to another man.

  She raked her hand through her light blond hair. “I-I don’t know.”

  I let out an annoyed breath. “Then why are we here, Sara?” I raised my voice in anger. “Why are you dragging me here every week, if you’re not sure of what you want?”

  The tears began to gush from her eyes. “Because it is what I want, but I don’t know how to get back there.”

  I shook my head and gave her a frustrated smile. “Oh…okay. So, I guess I’m just expected to sit around and continue to let you hurt me until you figure out the way back?”

  “No!” she shouted. “That’s not what I’m saying. It’s just…after we lost him, you became so dif
ferent. You never wanted to talk about it. You just went on with life like it never happened.”

  “And what did you do, Sara?” I raised my eyebrow at her.

  She stared at me and dabbed her eyes with the balled up tissue in her hand. “That’s not fair.”

  “You’re right…it’s not.”

  “Quinn, if I could interrupt here,” the therapist interjected.

  “The first step in putting this marriage back together is being able to look past Sara’s indiscretions and trust she’ll never do that again. Do you think you could do that?”

  I rubbed my hand down the side of my face, unable to answer the question. Sara had said she needed time apart, so I gave her that. I moved out of our home we had shared for the past six years and stayed in the upstairs apartment of my grandfather’s lake house that now belonged to me. Part of me liked the seclusion of being out in the woods and on the lake with no one to rag on me for coming home too late or drinking more than I should. I knew I wasn’t perfect. Far from it. And, yes, there were times when Sara did have a right to be pissed at me. But being unfaithful to her was one thing I would never do, and I had expected the same of her.

  He filled the void in her life.

  He took her seriously.

  He made her feel special.

  He cared about her feelings.

  All of the things she said I didn’t do. That was her justification for cheating on me with her boss she still worked for.

  “She can say it’s over, but the bottom line is, she still sees him every day,” I replied.

  She threw her hands up in the air. “I told you. I’m in a different department now. I’m not working for him anymore!”

  “You just don’t get it!” I shook my head and let out a sarcastic chuckle. “If you were really serious about working on us, you would have quit that damn job.”

  Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “What? Now you’re just being ridiculous!”

  “Why?”

  “Well, first off, it’s not like you’re raking in the cash to cover all the bills, and secondly, why should I have to give up everything I worked so hard for?”

  “You were willing to give all that up to stay home with the baby.”

  More tears pooled in her eyes at the mere mention of the subject. “That was different.”

  “How?”

  “Because…I—”

  “Because you wanted a baby more than anything, and you were willing to forgo the extra money and make it work to stay home with him. But you’re not willing to do the same for the sake of our marriage.”

  “Quinn, do you hear yourself? I’m a junior VP with that company. In a few years, I’ll be executive VP. I can’t just walk away from all of that.”

  I stood up and flashed her a cynical grin. “Yeah, how very selfish of me, Sara. I actually thought maybe you would choose our marriage over money.” She looked away in shame.

  “Quinn, we still have twenty minutes left,” the therapist interrupted.

  “No. I’m done here. The two of you can use the rest of the time to talk about what a terrible husband I am, and how I wasn’t there for Sara when she needed me most.”

  “Quinn, stop!” Sara cried, trying to catch her breath.

  “Maybe I wasn’t there for you like I should have been, Sara. But who was there for me? I needed you just as much as you needed me. I not only lost my son, I lost my wife.” She buried her face in her hands and began to sob. “So, you could say whatever you want about me because maybe a lot of it is true. I could have been a better husband in some ways, but I took my vows seriously on the day we were married. I love you and only you, and no matter how bad things were between us, I would have never gone to someone else to be there for me.”

  She removed her hands from her face and gazed up at me. Her dazed expression was quickly replaced with anger. “And how do I know that for sure? All those late nights working. Being gone for days at a time because of your stupid undercover work. How do I know that was all business?”

  “If that’s what you need to believe to feel better about yourself, then believe it. I know the truth, and that’s all that matters.” I stared down at her one last time before she looked away. I turned around without saying another word and walked out of the office, slamming the door behind me.

  Every time I told myself I wanted to make my marriage work, I would come face to face with our problems and then think twice about it. I still loved her very much, but I was starting to see just how selfish she really was. Would I ever get over the cheating? I wasn’t sure, and even if I learned to forgive, I didn’t know if I could forget.

  I hopped in my truck and stopped at the liquor store on my way home. I loved living in a small town, and at the same time, I hated it. Everyone knew everyone’s business, and right now I was labeled as “Poor Quinn,” lost his son, and now his wife is cheating on him. No one had ever come out and said that, but I knew what they were thinking behind their stares when I would go into the bank and the food store. I’m sure I was the topic of conversation for the old bitties at their weekend beauty salon appointments. Even Dwayne, the liquor store clerk, would look at me sympathetically when I made my trips into the store to buy my bottle of Jim Beam. I knew those trips to the liquor store were becoming more and more frequent, but it was the only thing that helped me cope with the disaster my life had become at only thirty-one years old. I hated being around my friends because their lives were all going the way I had hoped mine would have. Happy marriage. Kids, or one on the way. It was just a reminder to me of how fucked up my own life was. So instead of having my friends around to talk to, I withdrew myself from them and my family. Only talking to them when necessary and burying myself in my work and alcohol instead. I felt awful for missing my niece’s first birthday party or my parents’ anniversary party, but it was hard for me to fathom that life went on for everyone else while mine was falling apart. So, I used work as an excuse to exclude myself from all the questions that came along whenever I was around them: How’s everything going? How are things with Sara? Are you hanging in there? All with the same patronizing tone. So, when I wasn’t working, I spent my downtime with my bottle of Jim or Jack…they never asked questions and always took away the pain. And tonight, I was thinking maybe both would be in order.

  Chapter 2

  Lacey

  My GPS had been right on target for the three-and-a-half-hour ride to the tiny New York lakefront town I would now call home. I doubted when the voice on my GPS led me down a dirt road with only three minutes left in the drive. I did as she said, hoping my Jeep could handle the divots and bumps as I slowly maneuvered my way through the woods. A million thoughts raced through my mind. What if I get a flat? What if my GPS is wrong? How on earth will I turn around on this narrow road?

  My heart began to beat at a normal speed when a clearing appeared through the wind-swept trees up ahead. All my anxiety was quickly replaced with a smile at the sight of the quaint little home whose bottom I would be renting. The sun was just beginning to set on the lake, and all I could think of was sitting on the front porch every night with a cup of tea, watching that same beauty I was witnessing right now.

  Maybe Aaron was watching over me when I found this teaching job far away from the place we once called home. He’d taken the best care of me in life, and I knew in my heart he was still doing it now that he was gone. A lone teardrop streamed down my face, followed by the familiar heaviness in my chest every time I thought about him. I had sought out this town as a means to be closer to him. He would always talk about his childhood summers spent at his grandparents’ lakefront summer home in Lake Hope, New York. This place had held so many fond memories for him during his younger childhood days. He was devastated when his father sold the property that had been in his family for generations after his grandparents had passed away. He wanted to take me here to visit. Unfortunately, we never got to take that trip together. So I decided to do it alone in his memory. A change of scenery was exactly
what I needed to restore my soul and try and put the past behind me. I would keep Aaron in my heart forever, and I knew he was with me now, guiding me into this much needed change.

  I threw the Jeep in park when I got closer to the house. “Ready for a new adventure, Gus?” I turned around to my beloved Border Collie resting in the back seat. He tilted his head, and his ears perked up at the sound of my voice. Ever since that horrible day two years ago, Gus had become the best therapy for me. He was there for me through my tear-filled days and my agonizing nights. He was the one thing I had left of Aaron, and in a sense he was like our child. We had adopted him from a rescue as a puppy, and Aaron was looking forward to training him for agility contests. Little did we know his time with him would be cut short. So, once I somewhat reentered the land of the living, I followed through with Aaron’s plans, and Gus was now one of the top agility dogs out there. I found that in addition to being mentally stimulating for Gus, it was aiding me with my healing process as well.

  I opened the back door, and Gus hopped out, sniffing around and taking in his new surroundings, while I grabbed one of the few boxes I had brought with me. I struggled with the box and closed the door to the Jeep. Inner peace filled me with the first breath of fresh air I inhaled. The cedar shingled Cape Cod-style home that could definitely use some landscaping, the tall oak trees covering the property, and the rippling waves lapping onto the rocky shoreline put my mind at ease.

  I waited for Gus to finish his business and called him up to the front porch, finding the flower pot I was told the key would be located under. I breathed a sigh of relief finding it right where it should be. “Well, at least you weren’t scammed,” I whispered to myself as I jiggled the key, finally opening up the sticking lock. The strong musty air hit me in the face when the door finally opened. Placing the box on the wooden chair by the entryway, I immediately opened the blinds and windows to air everything out, choking on the dust in the process. My sight adjusted as enough natural light shone in. The natural wood floors and wooden beams on the ceiling along with the stone fireplace gave my new abode a rustic yet airy feel. The place was already furnished, saving me the burden of purchasing new furniture. As I stood in the living room, I compared the stark differences of the décor to that of my old condo at home. The casual slip-covered sofas were a huge difference from my sleek leather ultra-modern living room set back at home. That furniture and mostly everything else from my condo had been donated to a local charity. As much as all of those things held good memories of Aaron and me, they also held bad ones. Those were the memories I was trying so desperately to forget or at least suppress enough to feel human again.