Drowning In Love Read online

  “I got done early.” I shut the door as he entered.

  I kissed him softly on the lips. “Did you forget that you have a key?”

  “No, I wanted to surprise you.”

  “Well, you did, and it was the best surprise ever!”

  He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his embrace. His kiss took my breath away. “I missed you so much, Mia.” He moved his hands up and down my body. He wasted no time lifting my shirt over my head and removing my jeans. He undid my bra and ran his tongue along my breast. He threw his jacket on the floor and removed his own pants with a sense of urgency. My insides were longing for him.

  He picked me up and wrapped my legs around him. He pushed me up against the wall and I felt the fullness of him inside of me. His thrusts seemed urgent, not the tender gentle lovemaking that I was used to with him. “Oh my God, Mia, you feel so fuckin’ good, baby.” He continued to pound himself into me as I ran my hands through his hair.

  “Tell me how this feels for you. Tell me that you like this.” I nodded. “Say it, Mia. Tell me I’m the only guy that you will ever let fuck you like this.”

  I opened my eyes and looked into his. “You are the only man that I will ever need, Travis.”

  We slid down to the floor. He pinned my arms above my head while he hovered over top of me and continued to move about inside of me. He kissed me deeply. “Mia, I want all of you, baby, and I will give you all of me.”

  I raised my hips to meet him. “Oh my God, Travis.” The intensity of my orgasm was so extreme. He bit his lip and smiled. He continued for a little longer before letting out a loud groan as I felt the warmth of his release inside of me. He rolled over and pulled me close. “Mia, you have no clue what you do to me. I don’t ever want to lose you. These past few days have been hell without you.”

  I leaned my chin on his chest. “Travis, I’m not going anywhere. You’re not going to lose me.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “I love you so much, Mia. I’ve never felt this way about anyone.”

  “I love you too, Travis.” I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let him go.

  We went out to dinner and then back to his place. We made love once again, but this time it was soft and gentle. He played with my hair as I nuzzled closer to him. “There’s my old Travis.”

  He laughed. ”I’m sorry, Mia, about earlier. I just missed you so much.”

  “Don’t be sorry. Believe me, my body isn’t sorry. It really liked you that way.” I giggled.

  He shook his head and laughed. He pulled me on top of him. I rested my chin on his chest, staring up at him. “Move in with me, Mia.”

  “What?” I was a little taken off guard with that statement.

  “I want to wake up every day with you in my arms. I want your beautiful face to be the first thing that I see in the morning.”

  “Travis, I need to think about this.” As much as I would have loved to wake up with him every morning as well, the little voice in the back of my mind was stopping me from saying “yes.”

  “Okay,” he answered, looking like he wasn’t very happy with my response, making me feel as if I had to justify it.

  “Travis, you know that apartments in the city aren’t easy to come by, especially in my price range. I’m just not sure that I want to give mine up. I mean, what if things don’t work out with-”

  He shook his head to stop me before the words could escape my lips. “No, Mia, don’t say that. We’re going to be together forever, I promise. You work like a dog to afford that tiny little apartment. Come and live here; you won’t have to work so hard. Hell, you don’t even have to work at all, if you don’t want to. Let me take care of you.”

  I kissed him gently on the lips. “Travis, that is so kind of you and believe me there is nothing in the world that I want more than to wake up with you every morning. But I can’t take advantage of your generosity. I actually like working. I’m not saying that I won’t consider moving in with you. I’m just asking for time to think about it.”

  He smiled and kissed me on the forehead. “Okay, take all the time that you need.” He wrapped his arms around me tightly. I closed my eyes, feeling so at ease. Yeah, I could definitely get used to this every night.

  Chapter 41

  Travis….

  I held her in my arms while she slept. I should have told her tonight. I should have told her on the first day that I had asked her out. I was prolonging the inevitable, but I just couldn’t. I missed her so much that my insides had ached for her. I didn’t want to ruin this perfect night. I would tell her tomorrow, definitely. I had no choice. Chloe was due back from L.A. soon and I didn’t know what she was capable of. The last thing I wanted was for Mia to hear it from her.

  I kissed her on the head and watched her sleep. “I love you so much, Mia,” I whispered in her ear. I hugged her tightly. I couldn’t lose her – I just couldn’t.

  ***

  Last night was a turning point for me and Mia. I had to let her know that I meant it when I said we would be together forever and I was going to prove that to her tonight. I carefully scrutinized over every diamond that was shown to me. I wanted to make sure that Mia had nothing but the best, because that's exactly what she deserved.

  After about two hours, I finally decided on the three-carat emerald-cut diamond in a platinum setting. "That is an excellent choice, Mr. Montgomery," the lady that had been helping me said. "She's a very lucky lady."

  "No, I'm the one that's lucky," I said. The older woman smiled at me as I finished writing out my check. I headed out the door, feeling completely at ease with my choice. I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face when she saw this ring. I never wanted anything more. The only question that remained was, do I tell her before or after I ask her to marry me?

  Chapter 42

  Mia…

  I had a little extra time before my first appointment, so I called my sister to get her opinion on Travis’ request.

  “Well, Mia, I don’t know. I mean, you both love one another and he has a point; you’re running yourself ragged with work just to afford that little shoebox that you live in.”

  “Tressa, I don’t want to do this because it will be easier on me financially. I want to do this because I know that in my heart that it’s truly the right thing.”

  “Well, Mee Mee, you’re the only one that can make that decision.”

  “I know you’re right.”

  “Can I just tell you how happy I am that you have found someone that you love so much and that loves you back?”

  “Thanks.” I couldn’t contain my smile. I did love Travis very much. I never thought that I would be able to have those feelings for another man after Eric. But Travis helped me to overcome that doubt and I was so happy that he did.

  I went through the workday with a little extra spring in my step. I was cooking dinner for Travis at my place tonight and I was counting the minutes until I could see him again. I sent him a text, reminding him about our date. I stopped off at the store on the way home to pick up a few things for our dinner. I was surprised to see Chloe standing in front of my apartment building as I got out of the cab.

  “Hey, Chloe, did you need something?” I asked, trying to be cordial, but failing miserably.

  “I need to talk to you, Mia.” She was very matter of fact.

  “Okay, come up.” I said half-heartedly as I struggled with my key and the grocery bag that I was holding. We walked up the stairs and into my apartment. I placed the bag of groceries on the counter and removed my coat.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “Mia, did Travis tell you that I’m no longer his agent?”

  I shook my head. “No, he didn’t.” I wasn’t surprised; Travis usually didn’t discuss business with me.

  “Well, I’m not. He fired me.”

  I was starting to feel very uncomfortable. “Oh, I didn’t –”

  “Look, Mia, I came here to warn you.”

  “Warn me about what?�
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  “Travis. Did he tell you that he only started up this whole relationship thing with you to keep his endorsement with EFE?”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Wha –what are you talking about?”

  “He was in danger of losing that endorsement because of his bad boy, womanizer reputation. They wanted a nice guy to represent their company, a good role model for the teenage boys who buy their products. So Travis and I devised this whole plan. He would start dating a wholesome, all American girl to give EFE what they wanted while the whole time he was fucking me.”

  My eyes were burning with tears. I shook my head, hoping that I wasn’t hearing her correctly. “Mia, he laughed at you for being such a fool and actually buying into his friendship thing and now all of sudden, he’s telling everyone how in love he is with you. Don’t trust him, Mia.”

  I looked down at the ground. I didn’t want her to see the tears forming in my eyes. “I’m sorry, Mia, for having to tell you this, but obviously we’ve both been burned by him.”

  I waited for her to exit before I let the tears flow. I sat down on the couch, put my face in my hands, and began to cry. How could I have been so stupid to believe that I was actually special? This was all some sick game to him. I couldn’t believe that this was happening. I was numb. I ignored the endless ringing of my cell phone, not even bothering to pick it up to see who it was. All of those times I had seen him and Chloe, having their private little conversations - they were discussing me. I thought back to the night when I had asked him if he had ever slept with Chloe, and how he was hesitant to answer. I should have known then. How could I have believed that he actually fell in love with someone like me? I wasn’t special; I was just some stupid girl who believed his sick lies.

  My face was buried in my hands when he walked through the door. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. He sat down next to me on the couch. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He went to hug me and I pushed him away.

  “Don’t touch me. Never touch me again!”

  “Mia, what’s the matter?” A look of alarm washed over his face.

  “This was all some sick game to you? You made me believe that you actually cared about me, like I was special, all so you wouldn’t lose some stupid endorsement?”

  His eyes began to fill with emotion. “Mia, listen to me.” He moved closer to me as I backed away. “I’m not going to lie to you; that’s how it first started out, but I swear to God after getting to know you, that all changed.”

  “You laughed at me with her, Travis? Tell me, was it before or after you fucked her?”

  “What? Mia, I haven’t slept with her since I met you. I swear to God. I don’t know what she told you, but I’m telling you the truth.”

  I shook my head at him. “Just like you told me the truth when I asked if you ever slept with her at all? I don’t believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore, Travis.” He grabbed my arm tightly. “Let go of me, Travis!”

  He ignored my request and just moved in closer. “Mia, don’t you see what she’s trying to do? She’s angry because she’s jealous of what we have. This is what she wants, Mia, to break us up because she knows I will never feel the same way about her as I do for you.”

  “Just go, Travis.”

  “Mia, don’t do this.”

  “I didn’t do it; you did. You and that little whore that got so much entertainment out of using me as a pawn to get you what you wanted!”

  “Mia, you are the only woman for me. Why can’t you see how in love I am with you? Nothing matters anymore. I don’t care about any of these stupid endorsements or winning anymore gold medals. All I care about is us.”

  “You are a liar and a sneak and I will never forgive you for what you’ve done. I will never believe a word that you say ever again and I can’t be with someone like that. I gave my heart and soul to you, Travis, and you took advantage of that, something that I would have never done to you.”

  “Mia, don’t do this to us. You know what we have is special. Don’t just walk away from it.” I wanted to cry. I wanted to do more than just cry I wanted to break down in his arms and tell him that I forgave him and that I loved him more than anything, but I couldn’t. I had lost all trust and respect for him. I looked up at him as he looked into my tear-filled eyes.

  I bit my lip and shook my head as the tears flowed down my face. “No, that’s where I went wrong. I actually thought that it was special, but it wasn’t. I was just some stupid, naïve girl who walked right into your trap. Well, now I’m walking out of it. Just answer this question for me please; why did you have to pick me, Travis? After everything I had been through, why did you have to pick me to fall in love with you and have my heart ripped to shreds again?”

  He looked away briefly and ran his hand through his hair. “Mia, I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  He looked at me sadly. “Please, will you just give me a chance to explain to you?”

  “No, just go, Travis. It’s over.” My stomach clenched hearing those words come from my mouth.

  “Damn you, Mia, you never fuckin’ believed in us and now you’re willing to throw it all away.”

  “Don’t you dare try to turn this around and make it my fault. I’m not the one who lied, Travis. I’m not the one who used you to get what I wanted. All I did was love with all my heart.”

  “Mia, I’m begging you.”

  I looked up at him one last time. “Goodbye, Travis.”

  He was speechless. He stood up and gazed at me as if I was going to change my mind. I buried my face in my hands again, unable to look at him any longer. I waited until I heard the door slam and I began to sob like a baby.

  Chapter 43

  Travis…

  It felt like I had been kicked in the stomach. The pain in her eyes tore me apart. How could she question my love for her? I sat down on the couch. Everything reminded me of her. I picked up the picture of us that was taken at her sister’s house on Christmas. “Mia, baby, I love you. I always loved you.” How I wished she could hear me. I needed her to understand that I was lost without her. But it was too late; the look in her eyes told me it was final. I had broken her heart yet again. She didn’t deserve it; she had lost so much and was finally able to love again and I had to go and do this to her.

  I wondered if it would have made a difference if I had told her instead of that fuckin’ bitch Chloe who only embellished it, making it that much worse. I should have been honest with her the night that she had asked me if I had ever slept with Chloe. I should have been honest with her about a lot of things. Chloe was toxic; she didn’t care who she hurt to get what she wanted. I could handle her hurting me and spreading my name through the dirt, but I couldn’t handle what she had done to Mia. I never gave my one-night stand with Chloe much thought. It had happened months before I had even met Mia; we were both drunk and I really didn’t have much memory of it. I thought that she felt the same until the other night in L.A.

  I was just getting ready for bed when I heard a knock on my hotel room door. I opened it up to find Chloe with a bottle of champagne. “Well, congratulations, the whole world bought your story and I have two other companies who want you to do advertisements for them! Little Miss Perfect is your golden ticket. But don’t worry; we can do a very public break up in a few months. We’ll make it look like it’s her fault.”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck and began to kiss me. I pushed her away. “Chloe, what the fuck are you doing?”

  “Oh, come on, Travis, we need to celebrate!”

  “Chloe, I am totally in love with Mia.”

  “Oh, Travis please. You may have gotten everyone else to believe that story. But I know better.”

  “Chloe, I meant what I said tonight. She’s my entire world.”

  “Oh, give me a break, Travis; she’s not your type. What, are you going to marry her, have two point five kids, and live happily ever after? You know you will never be satisfied with that life.”


  “No, Chloe, I will be happy with that life. I love her more than anything and I would give up everything to be with her.”

  She shook her head and laughed. “Oh, Travis, you stupid man, throwing everything away for sweet, little, innocent Mia. I can’t sit around as your agent and watch you give up everything for a girl who’s only going to bring you down.”

  “That’s fine, because as of right now, you are no longer my agent.”

  “What! You just kissed any more endorsements goodbye, Travis, I will make sure of it.”

  “You do what you got to do, Chloe.”

  She stared at me briefly before storming out and slamming the door behind her.

  I had to come clean with Mia. I had to tell her before she heard it from Chloe. I quickly logged onto my laptop, changing my flight to the soonest one I could get back to New York.

  I wished that I could have gone back to twenty-four hours ago and told Mia the minute I had stepped into her apartment. I knew that she would have still been pissed, but at least I could have tried to soften the blow somewhat. Now, it looked like I had something to hide. She actually thought that I had been sleeping with Chloe the entire time I had been with her. I took the little black box out of my coat pocket and opened up the lid. I stared down at the ring that I had planned on giving Mia tonight. It was supposed to be the start of our life together. Now, the only thing I saw when I looked at it was an ending. I was so out of my element with this. I had never agonized over a woman before, because I had never gotten emotionally attached to any of them. I didn’t know what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of. I poured myself a shot of Jack, hoping that it would take away this self-inflicted pain.

  Chapter 44

  Mia…

  At what point do we run out of tears? I had cried so much in the past week that I had probably shed ten pounds in water weight. When Eric died, I was devastated, but at least his departure from my life was final. It was so different with Travis; he was still here. I was trying my best to ignore his text messages and his voicemails, which only made me cry even harder at the sound of his voice. I was sick to my stomach over what he had done to me. He played a good game of really making me feel special. I felt like such a fool for actually falling for it. My life would never be the same and I would never trust another man again. Travis had ruined me.