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The People We Meet Along The Way Page 18
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I pulled away, placing my hands on the side of his face. “Can you hold that thought for later and carry these into Kate’s room for me, please?”
“I guess.” He grinned, sneaking in one last kiss before picking up the trunks one by one, leaving them just outside of Kate’s bedroom door, as I requested.
I knocked gently and entered. Kate was sitting up in bed with the television on, but her eyes and mind seemed to be focused on something else. “Can I come in?” I asked.
She nodded, always managing a smile, no matter how much pain or distress she was in. “So, I wanted to show you something I’ve been working on, if you’re up to it.”
“Sure,” she responded with her weak smile once again.
“Cool.” I smiled back. “Theo!” I called.
Within seconds, Theo delivered the trunks in one by one, placing them by Kate’s bedside. Kate sat up a little taller, and the blankness that was in her eyes just moments ago was replaced with curiosity. Theo took a seat in the chair along Kate’s bedside. He had seen the outside of my project, but I hadn’t shown him the inside.
“I found these in an antique store in London, and something just drew me to them. Maybe because they were scratched and flawed. The most beautiful things usually are.” My eyes shifted to Theo in a grateful gaze. It was thanks to him that I finally realized that. “I brought them back here and gave them a little makeover and…” I opened the lid of the yellow trunk, and new life spread over Kate’s face. I had photos that Theo had given me of Kate printed on the fabric that lined the chest. Inside was her music box she had as child, her old ballet slippers, her favorite rag doll that Theo said she’d take everywhere when she was younger, and a diamond necklace that her mother had passed down to her.
“Jillian…I…” She threw her hand over her mouth. “This is so beautiful!” I hated seeing her cry, but I knew they were happy tears, so I savored the moment. Theo gazed at me, thoughtfully and quietly, the emotion in his eyes evident as well.
“This is for Thomas. Something he can pass down for generations to come, to his children, and their children, so they can always remember the woman that got them here.” Now it was me who was biting back the tears as I made my way to the blue trunk. The one that held so many memories of a man I loved with all my heart. “And this will be the one that will serve as a reminder of the man who got them here.” I squeezed my eyes shut, willing myself not to cry. This moment was for Kate, not a self-pity one for me. I lifted the lid to reveal the same fabric lining, this one with photos of Evan imprinted on it. Inside was a worn-out baseball glove that he had as a child. The same one that got him and his team into the Little League World Series. A football signed by Emmitt Smith. Evan’s drafting pencils, and a little yellow sticky note that I’d one day explain to Thomas and ensure he never became the word that was inscribed on it.
Kate’s bottom lip quivered, and I rushed to her, taking a seat on the side of her bed. “I can’t thank you enough for this…for everything. You truly are my best friend. I keep questioning why we hadn’t crossed paths sooner in life. Why couldn’t I have known you as a child, and had the proper best friend I always yearned for my entire life.”
“I don’t know. But I do know I’m thankful to have known you now, because if I hadn’t the void in my heart would’ve never been filled.” She threw her arms around me, burying her head into my shoulder and letting out deep sobs. Theo stood up and quietly exited the room, allowing us our time together.
Once we had pulled it together, we sat in silence, recovering from the emotional workout we just had. “Jillian?” Kate’s voice was low and hoarse from all the crying she had just done.
“Yes.”
“I know it’s not my business, but…are you and Theo together?”
My smile gave it away, causing a full-fledged grin to adorn her tearstained face. “I care about him a lot, and I do love him.”
She gently squeezed my hand. “You two are the perfect couple. I couldn’t think of two people who are more deserving of each other. It makes my heart so happy to hear this. I feel like the universe is putting everything in place for me to make my exit.” My heart clenched, hearing her say that. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her. The selfish part of me wanted her to keep fighting. “Jillian, in the very back of my closet there are two dresses, a yellow and a pink one. Can you pull them out for me, please?”
I stood up and walked over to her closet, locating the two dresses she requested. One of them a beautiful lemon drop yellow color. The other one a beyond gorgeous pale pink lace dress, reminding me of something from The Great Gatsby. I couldn’t help but hold it up to myself and peer into the full-length mirror on the back of Kate’s closet door. I twirled in every direction, envisioning what this gorgeous dress would look like on.
“These are both absolutely beautiful. Where did you get them?” I asked as I laid them down on her bed beside her.
“At a vintage shop in London. This one is from the 1920s.” She focused on the pink one. “And this one is from the 1950s,” she said, smoothing her hand over the yellow one. “I never got a chance to wear either of them. I just thought they were so lovely that I couldn’t resist. I look at them now and think, what a pity. They’ve probably gone to fancy parties and were admired by everyone back in the day, only to spend the rest of their days sitting in the back of my closet, waiting for the perfect opportunity that never came to go on display again.”
I looked down at the dresses she had given a life of their own to with their sad little tale.
“Jillian, I want to be buried in this one.” She placed her frail-looking hand on the yellow one. I was speechless, not at all expecting that to come out of her mouth. “I’m sorry to place that request on you, but Theo is still in denial. I can’t even broach the subject with him.”
“Okay,” I sheepishly agreed.
“I want you to have the pink one. It will go beautifully with your blond hair and blue eyes. I want you to promise me that you’ll wear it someplace special. Have Theo take you someplace fancy, let it have a new adventure beyond the walls of my closet.”
“Thank you so much.” My voice wavered. “Kate?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you scared?
“Not anymore,” she answered without hesitation. “I’m so tired. I’m so weak. Every day I feel myself leaving this shell of a body I’ve been given here on earth and drifting further and further away to the other side of the rainbow. Just like in The Wizard of Oz, that’s right where I’ll be, watching Thomas grow and cheering you and Theo on. So, if you ever need a friend to talk to and no one else is around, I’ll be right there for you, making up for the years we should’ve known each other.”
“That’s good to know.” My teardrop slid down my face, dripping onto our clasped hands like a baptism of this friendship that had been forged through the most unusual circumstances. “Can I ask you one favor once you get to the other side of that rainbow? Can you let him know how truly sorry I am for hurting him, and how grateful I am to him for bringing you into my life?”
“You got it,” she whispered.
CHAPTER 26
ONE WEEK LATER and Kate was still hanging on. There were days she would seem as if she was actually getting better, and others where she was too weak to get out of bed. On one of her better days, we were sitting outside in the garden watching Theo and Thomas make mud pies. Both of us got so much amusement over it, not really sure who was having more fun, Thomas or Theo.
“I was thinking, I want to celebrate the Fourth of July,” Kate blurted out of nowhere. Theo looked up from his mud creation, and I was certain the same thought was going through his mind as mine. The Fourth of July was well over a month away. Would Kate still even be here?
“We’re Brits, we don’t celebrate the Fourth of July, remember?” Theo masked his concern with a smart-ass comeback.
“I know, but Jillian does, and Thomas is half American, so he should know his roots. Besides, I always wanted to go
to America and celebrate. It always looked like so much fun. Plus, it’s Jillian’s birthday.” She took me by surprise. I didn’t recall telling her when my birthday was. Theo had asked me once, and I just told him it was in July then we got interrupted by something else.
“How did you know that?” I asked.
Her face reddened and I sensed the unease on her face. “Evan was here on a business trip once, and he said he had to get back before the Fourth of July to his Jilly Doody Dandy because it was her birthday.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat and then fought the burning sensation in my eyes.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Kate reached over and grabbed my hand.
“No. It’s fine.” I shook my head.
“I propose we celebrate both on the thirtieth of May, instead,” Kate said. Theo caught my gaze, both of us knowing why she was pushing up the date, which was only five days away.
“That sounds like a plan!” I put on my best smile as if everything about the idea was perfectly normal. “I suppose we’ll have a hard time finding Fourth of July items here,” I joked. Kate laughed, but Theo’s expression was blank, as if he was still taking it all in. “I promise, we’ll make it happen.” I continued being the cheerleader Kate needed in this bittersweet situation.
“Thanks, Jillian.” Kate squeezed my hand and smiled.
_______________
Theo had been out of it all night. I didn’t want to draw attention to it in front of Kate, but when she went up to bed, I finally addressed it. “What’s going on?” I asked, taking a seat next to him on the couch.
“Why did she pick that date?” He turned his head and looked at me with tears in his eyes.
“I-I…really don’t know.”
“They say when an animal is getting ready to die, they can sense it ahead of time. Do you think that applies to people as well?” That was such a hard question for me to answer. I didn’t want to upset Theo, but the reality was, I truly believed Kate knew it was almost time, and she had accepted it.
“Maybe,” I whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut, and I rubbed his arm gently. “Theo, if she’s at peace with this, then you should be too. I know every single solitary thing about it sucks, but it’s out of our control now. The only thing we can control is making the time she has left all that she wants it to be.”
“I’m not ready to let her go.” Theo’s voice cracked into a sob. He buried his head into my shoulder, and his body trembled. It was in that moment that I realized maybe it was actually harder for the loved ones to be at peace with the death than the actual person dying. When Evan died, I didn’t have time to ponder it. Instead I was hit in the face full-force with the pain of it all at once. Would it have been easier to have known it was coming? I kissed the top of Theo’s head and pulled him closer as he let everything sink in and prepared for the inevitable.
Thomas’ cries came over the baby monitor, breaking up the dead silence and causing us both to jump. I motioned for Theo to sit back down when he hopped to his feet at the sound of him. Instead, I headed up the stairs and entered his room. He was standing in his crib, clutching his blanket with tears streaming down his face. Had he sensed what was going on too?
“What’s the matter?” I asked, lifting him from his crib and bouncing him up and down. He let out a little moan and then a sniffle. I took him over to the rocking chair and sat down with him on my lap. “Do you know what a lucky little boy you are, Thomas? You have such a great mommy and your daddy was so special. He would’ve loved you so much.” I kissed the top of his head and sucked in his scent, feeling like I could never get enough of it. “And your uncle Theo, well…he’s just the best.”
“Tee,” Thomas whispered, looking up at me with his tear-filled eyes.
“Yes, Tee loves you so, so much, and I love you too.”
“Gee.” He babbled and pointed to me. My face stretched into a huge smile. It was the first time he had said my name or at least tried to. “Yes, Gee loves you so very much too.”
He pressed his head into my chest, and I pulled him closer, rocking him back and forth. This beautiful little boy was a part of three people who meant so much to me. Having him here in my arms was as if I was hugging all three of them at once. I closed my eyes, listening to the steady rhythm of his breaths, with my mind and body becoming more relaxed with each one he took.
“Jillian,” Theo whispered in my ear. I raised my head, trying to get my bearings straight. I gasped once I realized where I was and not seeing Thomas on my lap. “I put him back to bed,” Theo explained, alleviating my panic, but seeming to get a little amusement over it himself. It was nice to see him smile for the first time all night. “Come on, let’s go to sleep.”
He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the chair. I stopped at Thomas’ crib and watched him sleeping so peacefully. Theo put his arm around me and joined me. Just like Thomas, he seemed to be so much more at ease than he had been earlier. I rested by head in Theo’s chest, neither one of us taking our eyes from Thomas. Was I foolish for wondering if this was a glimpse of the future? A future that Theo and I never discussed, but a future I was yearning for more and more each day.
CHAPTER 27
THE 30TH OF May had arrived and Kate’s wish had been granted. The nurse who’d been taking care of her advised against it, saying that Kate shouldn’t be around a lot of people because her immune system was so compromised. In the end, Theo overrode her suggestion. He was now thinking clearer and realizing for Kate’s sake, quality took precedence over quantity.
It seemed as if even Mother Nature agreed with Theo’s choice to go forward, giving us a warm sunny day instead of the common springtime clouds and showers. I was able to find Fourth of July–themed plates, napkins, and decorations online, and had them shipped priority to get here on time. Theo and I shopped for all the foods that one had on Fourth of July, and Anna and I prepared them. Hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, coleslaw and pasta salad were just a few things on the menu.
We invited Kate and Theo’s aunt, a few of their cousins, Jo and David, and Anna and her sister. The most special guest of all for Kate and for me was DeAndre. Turned out he was going to be joining Louis in London for a work conference the following week, so they left to come a few days early to be part of the celebration. The smile that was on Kate’s face when she saw him enter the backyard was worth a million dollars. I made sure to capture it in a photo. One I would have printed out to put in her trunk and another framed for DeAndre.
I was so happy to have a little alone time with DeAndre as Louis was off talking to Theo and David. He was a reminder that although I loved being here with Theo, Kate, and Thomas, I still missed home a lot too.
“So, do I need to ask the obvious?” DeAndre raised an eyebrow.
“And, what would that be?” I broke off a piece of my burger and popped it in my mouth.
“You know…are you and Mr. Handsome over there officially a couple?”
I dropped my gaze to the ground and smiled.
“And don’t you even think about lying to me. I saw him with his hand on your waist earlier, and the way he looks at you…girl!” He used his hand to fan himself.
“Umm...” The truth actually was, I didn’t know how to classify our relationship. Yes, we loved and cared for each other, but we really hadn’t had much time to cover the details of where we exactly stood with one another or what the future held for either of us. Not without good reason, though. Kate had been the number one priority as she should’ve been. “Yes, I mean, at least I think we are.”
“So, did you…” DeAndre smirked.
“DeAndre! You know, a true lady never kisses and tells.” I was certain my embarrassment and the expression on my face gave him his answer.
“You did!” he exclaimed, getting the attention of a few other guests.
“Shhh.” I placed my finger over my lips. The last thing I wanted was for Theo to find out I was discussing our sex life like some smitten teenage girl
talking about her first love.
“I don’t understand then. Where is the doubt coming in?”
I took a sharp inhale, hating that there even was uncertainty in my mind when it came to Theo. He was truly the perfect guy, and in different circumstances, any hesitation I was feeling about the two of us would be nonexistent. “I just don’t know. I guess I’m really not sure how he’s feeling about us. Am I just someone here to help him get through this?” I immediately hated myself for even asking that question, wishing I could take the words back. I knew I was more to him than that. He had proved it to me time and time again, but once again it was my own self-doubt creeping in. “I didn’t mean that. I know I mean more to him than that. I guess the main thing is, he lives here, and I live…in a tiny little suburb not far from New York City.” I gave DeAndre a good chuckle over my precise geographical location.
“Okay, I’m just gonna tell you straight up. If you really want to make it work with him, none of that should matter. Not geography, not the color of your skin or your sexual orientation, not because he comes from a rich white Southern family and you come from a poor black one in the city…none of it! What happened to that girl in the bakery who gave me the lecture about love and happiness having no boundaries?”
I nodded. The truth was it was much easier for me to give advice to others about going after their happiness than it was for me to follow it.
“Just think about it, okay?” DeAndre proposed gently.
Taking my hand, we strolled over to Kate, who was in her garden, sipping on a cup of tea. We took a seat on each side of her and began to reminisce about our trip. Theo joined us a few moments later, sitting beside me with his arm around me, causing both Kate and DeAndre to smile at the sight of it.