Keepin' The Faith Read online

  Slowly and cautiously the women began to make their way up to the table to smell the body lotions and oils. “Oh, smell this one, Joan,” one of the ladies said. My plan was working. I was going to make some sales. It may have been all lotions and oils, but they were sales nonetheless.

  “What’s this thing?” the woman wheeling around an oxygen tank asked as she picked up what we in the business referred to as a cock ring.

  Mrs. Downs eyed up the package and adjusted her glasses. “It says it’s a double penetrating and ball buzzer penis ring!” Her jaw dropped so low, I thought I’d need a crane to lift it from the ground.

  “A what?” another woman shouted.

  “It’s a cock ring!” Sylvia bellowed even louder. “It goes around a man’s penis to heighten orgasm.” She took it from the woman’s hand and looked it over. “They don’t make them like they used to!” She laughed, leaving them all aghast.

  My throat tightened, and I peered over at Natalia, widening my eyes in hopes that she could help me recover from this one.

  “Ladies, why don’t we decide on which scent of body moisturizer we like best?” Natalia suggested, trying to reroute the guests to the calmer end of the table. It worked like a charm as they all followed her lead, allowing me to remove some of the really super X-rated items from view and back in the boxes.

  “Ah! What a bunch of squares!” Sylvia said, waving her hand in a dismissing manner.

  “I should have known that this was going to be a disaster. I mean, what would these women need with any of these items?”

  “Well, I don’t know what they need, but I’m going to buy me this pretty little nighty. I’m Sylvia, by the way.”

  “I’m Faith, and thank you so much for livening up this party tonight.”

  “Don’t mention it. Half of these gals here could use one of these.” She picked up a vibrator and looked it over. “Even though they’ll never admit it.”

  “I think it’s really great that a woman your age is still so open-minded about sex.”

  “I may be old, but I’m not dead! I’m sure the fact that I was a sex therapist for forty years helps a lot too.”

  My eyes widened.

  “Yeah, honey. Nothing surprises me.”

  “Umm, Faith,” Natalia interrupted. “That little old lady over there wants to know if these bracelets come in different colors.”

  A startled breath escaped me at the sight of the anal beads in Natalia’s hand.

  “Hey, don’t say I didn’t tell you so!” Natalia scolded.

  “Just tell her no! And tell her that bracelet isn’t for sale.”

  “Where did that nice-colored girl go with my bracelet?” the woman Natalia was helping shouted.

  “Did she really just call me a colored girl?” Natalia rolled her eyes.

  “She’s old, Natalia. She’s not up on the proper terminology.” I laughed. “Now, can you please go back over there and do your best sweet-talking to convince her not to buy this without telling her that it’s meant to be shoved up one’s ass?”

  “You’re lucky I love you…just remember paybacks—”

  “I know. I know…I owe ya big time for this.”

  “Do you use any of these products with your man?” Sylvia asked.

  “Oh…no. I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “Oh, honey, why not? You’re young, pretty, and you have a cute figure.” She raised an eyebrow at me. “Do you like women?”

  “Oh no. I’m straight. It’s just…I really don’t have much time for a man in my life. I have a five-year-old daughter.”

  “And?”

  “She’s my first priority, and I don’t have much time for sex.”

  “Honey, you make time for sex. You know, in all of my years of listening to patients, that was always the biggest problem with the women.”

  “What’s that?” I asked.

  “Women automatically assume that just because they become a mother they have to give up sex. Why’s it so hard to balance both? I had a son, and my husband and I still managed to have sex at least three times a week.”

  My eyes widened. I was tired just thinking about it. “Wow…that’s great.”

  “My point is, you can still be a mom and a woman. Sex is a good thing.”

  “I-I know that.” I couldn’t believe I was having this conversation with her. “But I’m just not going to have sex with anyone.” Even though Jeff was just a booty call, I still knew a little about him, like he wasn’t a homicidal maniac.

  “Maybe you should make some time to find someone.”

  I shrugged my shoulders. I knew she was right. I needed to get laid, but I didn’t think it showed on my face. Clearly, it must have if a total stranger was suggesting it. But she was a professional after all, so maybe she just had a sixth sense to these things.

  “Oh, Faith, honey, can you come on Wednesday instead of Friday to clean? I’m switching our card game with my neighbor and it’s going to be at my house this week, so I want to make sure it’s all clean,” Mrs. Downs asked, breaking up my awkward conversation with Sylvia.

  “Yeah, sure.”

  “Did I just hear her right? Do you clean houses?”

  I nodded.

  “Good. My cleaning lady just went back to Poland to take care of her sick mother. When can you come do my place?”

  “Well, umm…I’d like to take a look at the size of the house and get an idea of what you need before I give a price.”

  “Sweetheart, price doesn’t matter, and my house is the same model as Delia’s…just decorated a hell of a lot nicer.”

  “Okay, is Friday good for you?”

  She gave me a wink. “Friday would be great.”

  Maybe this wasn’t such an epic fail after all. With any luck, I had just gained a new housecleaning client, but something told me that in addition to doing her cleaning, I would be continuing my sex therapy session as well.

  Chapter 2

  Faith

  The glow of the moonlight shone down on my apartment building. As I stepped out of my car, breathing in the unusually mild mid-October air while staring up at the old run-down structure, the same thoughts as always went through my mind.

  There has to be more to life than this. Somewhere, someday, somehow. There has to be something better out there for me and my little girl.

  What everyone else called a dump, I called home. My parents were baffled when I decided to find my own place when Joey was only eight months old. After all, it was a big plus to be living with them. I didn’t have to worry about paying rent and always had two extra set of hands to help out, but that also came with a price. For example, my mother didn’t like the brand of diapers I used because she claimed the tape on them didn’t stick. So one day I came home from work to find all of Joey’s old diapers thrown out and replaced with the ones my mother preferred, which were much more expensive. Then there was the time that she took it upon herself to just switch her baby formula without even consulting me because she said the one she was currently drinking made her gassy. Even the name of my child bugged her. She hated that I affectionately called her “Joey,” short for Joelle, and would always correct me when I did. So, once I was able to scrape up enough funds for a security deposit, I was out of there.

  My two-bedroom apartment was tiny. You sometimes had to bang on the pipes to get the water to run, and sometimes the heat would jack up to eighty degrees on its own in the dead of winter, giving the impression it was more like July than January, but it was our home. It wasn’t in the best of neighborhoods, and I would have much rather been raising my daughter in the 2.5 kids, picket fence, South Jersey town I grew up in, but for right now, this was the best I could do with what I had to work with. My parents only lived about twenty minutes away and were a huge help. Things were much better when they were at a distance. I could tolerate my mother’s overbearing ways, knowing there was somewhere I could go once she or I would walk out the door. The one thing that I did accept from them was the payment of J
oey’s tuition. She had just started kindergarten, and my mother insisted she have a Catholic school education. Since the school district in the town I lived in wasn’t the greatest, I didn’t put up a fight with that one.

  I had been waitressing at a diner right after Joey was born and cleaning houses on the side. The number of homes picked up, and I was eventually able to quit my waitressing gig and do the cleaning on a full-time basis. I was making ends meet. I had enough money to pay my rent, keep the electric on, put food in our bellies, and even save a little. The extra money I made from my side business was a play fund for Joey and me. I’d use that money to take her to the movies, the amusement park, or buy her the latest Barbie doll that she had to have. Things I wouldn’t be able to do on just my housecleaning salary. I was also able to put some of that money aside to someday finish up my college education and get my degree. I was hoping that someday was coming soon, now that Joey was in school on a full-time basis.

  I broke myself from my thoughts and headed inside. Cole was watching Joey for me, and I knew he was probably anxious to get his Friday night started with his friends. The baseball game blared from the television even before I walked through the door.

  “Shh—” Cole put his index finger over his lips to keep me quiet.

  “Is she sleeping?” I whispered.

  He nodded and lifted the beer in his hand to his lips. “Where does she get all that energy from?”

  I shook my head and laughed. “I know, she’s a fireball.”

  “Did you know there are sixteen days until Halloween and seventy days until Christmas?”

  “Oh yes, I do. Yesterday we were at seventeen and seventy-one.” I laughed, throwing myself down on the couch.

  He shook his head and smiled. “I love that girl so much.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  “So, how’d tonight go?” he asked as he set that same intense gaze upon me that always led me into his dorm room back in college. His spellbinding green eyes were a carbon copy of Joey’s. In fact, everything about him was a replica of Joey. Her long dirty-blond wavy hair looked as if the color was bottled to match his perfectly. The only time I would catch a little glimpse of myself in her was when she would smile. And much to my dismay, she had the same haphazard attitude that I had.

  “Uh…as well as sex toy parties with senior citizens could possibly go.”

  “That’s a visual I’d like to get out of my head.”

  I got up from the couch and poked my head in Joey’s room. She was sound asleep somewhere in the middle of her menagerie of stuffed animals. I left her door open a crack and went into the kitchen, pouring myself a much needed glass of wine.

  “I’m exhausted. I think I set a record today. Five houses.” My tired feet thanked me as I kicked off my flip-flops and took a seat on the couch.

  Cole widened his eyes. “Why so many?”

  “It’s Friday. Everyone wants their house clean for the weekend!”

  “Soon, Deenie.” Deenie was my nickname Cole had given me ever since I had met him on the first day of English Lit class freshman year. Our teacher always called us by last name. Deenie was Cole’s shortened playful version of my last name, DiNatale.

  “Soon, what?”

  “I’ll be out of school and working full-time, and I promise I’ll make up for all these years of you working like a dog to take care of our daughter.”

  I let out a deep sigh, hoping he was sincere this time and wouldn’t change his mind at the last minute and take more classes. He tapped on the couch, and I raised my eyebrow, knowing exactly what that meant.

  “Well, aren’t you sweet?” I extended my legs so my feet were in his lap.

  Cole always gave the best foot massages. Sometimes he would use it as a tactic to get me into bed. Other times it was just to be nice. Since the two of us hadn’t slept together since the night Joey had been conceived, I knew that tonight he was doing it just to be nice. I closed my eyes and sipped my wine, wondering why he was still hanging around instead of darting out the door like he normally would when he was watching Joey on the weekend. Any suspicions running through my mind quickly diminished once his magical hands began kneading my poor, aching feet.

  “You have great hands,” I joked as he let out a lighthearted chuckle. I wasn’t lying, that was for sure. He did know how to use his hands, and not just on my feet. I would often think back to the amazing sex we would have back in college. He definitely knew what he was doing, but thoughts were as far as it went. I would never cross that line with Cole ever again, no matter how much in need I was feeling. Not to mention, he had watched me give birth, so I was fairly certain that had turned him against ever wanting to have sex with me again. We were now just two people co-parenting our child. Yup, we were well past that point in our lives.

  ***

  Okay, maybe I thought we were past that point in our lives, but as I woke to the sight of Cole’s bare chest in my face…I had thought wrong. Why did I allow myself another glass of wine? I was a lightweight when it came to drinking, thus in turn leading me to do crazy things, like sleeping with the father of my child, who I vowed to never have sex with again. But as much as I hated to admit it, he still made my stomach tingle every now and then or maybe it was just all Sylvia’s talk at the party of my need to get laid. Whatever it was, it was pretty damn good. I wasn’t sure if it was because I hadn’t had sex in a while or if Cole had actually gotten even better, but my body was still reveling over the state he had put it in last night.

  My phone displayed 7:03 as I haphazardly reached for it from my nightstand. Joey wouldn’t be getting up for at least another half hour, which would give Cole plenty of time to slip out unnoticed. I didn’t want her to know he spent the night and give her any false hope of us ever getting together in that way. Even though she was only five years old, she was very astute to these types of things. Another scenario that frantically played out in my head was her blabbing to my mother about this. And with that thought…I gave him a nudge to get up. It was bad enough that Natalia was probably going to find out about this through her boyfriend, who was still good friends and roommates with Cole. One stern lecture was all I could handle. I didn’t need her and my mother tag teaming me. I was already beating myself up enough over it.

  “Cole,” I whispered, staring at his long dark lashes curving up to his eyelids as he slept. “Cole.” I nudged him again, whispering a little louder this time. Finally his eyes peeled open. They were an even brighter shade of green first thing in the morning. How could I have forgotten that? “You need to get out of here before Joey wakes up.”

  He ran his hand through his dirty-blond hair, a little disoriented. “Yeah, okay,” he whispered, closing his eyes once again.

  I sat up and stared at his naked body as he turned to lie on his stomach, giving me an impeccable view of that perfect ass, still showing a hint of a tan line from the summer and all his days spent surfing at the beach. He had definitely bulked up with a lot more muscle since the last time we had slept together. He had a great body back then, but now, it was even better.

  Stop it, Faith! Stop it! Your daughter will be up any minute and she cannot know that her father is lying asleep naked in your bed.

  I got up and threw on a T-shirt and a pair of sweats from my dresser before marching back over to the bed, this time meaning business. Getting in one more glimpse of the hotness in front of me, I finally pulled it together. “Cole!” I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave him a gentle shake. This time he shot up, still looking a little bewildered, but at least we were making progress. “You need to get out of here before Joey wakes up.”

  “Yeah, okay.” He rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand, letting out a loud, expressive yawn as he reached down to grab his clothes from the floor. “Hey, Deenie?”

  “Yeah?” I did an about-face just as I reached the bedroom door.

  “I forgot how much I enjoyed having sex with you.” He flashed me that crooked, boyish grin and my stomach may have
fluttered just a little.

  “Will you just get dressed?” I rolled my eyes and didn’t allow the smile that I was holding back to form until I was out of the room. A loud gasp escaped my throat when I walked into the kitchen to find Joey sitting at the table with her oversized teddy bear, Agnes, who she had named after one of the nuns at school. A bowl of cereal lay in front of each of them, and she was deep in conversation with her furry friend. Sometimes I would stand outside her bedroom door and listen to her talk to her dolls and stuffed animals. The imagination on her was incredible. She picked up on every little thing around her and ran with it, which was exactly why I didn’t want her knowing Cole had spent the night.

  “Mommy!” she exclaimed as I made my presence known.

  “Hey, Joey, what are you doing up so early on a Saturday?” I leaned down and gave her a kiss before walking over to start the coffee.

  “Agnes’s arthritis was acting up in her knee and she couldn’t sleep, so we decided to get up early and have some chocolate puffs.”

  “Her what?” I couldn’t help but giggle, knowing exactly where she heard that from. My mother was forever complaining to anyone who would listen about the arthritis in her knee. Now poor Agnes was suffering the same fate. Fluff and all!

  She lifted Agnes from the chair and pointed to her leg. “I think she needs to take some of Nona’s medicine.”

  “Oh…poor Agnes.” I played along, pouring the water into the coffeemaker.

  “Who’s here?” She stretched her neck when she heard the toilet flushing.