When Autumn Ends Read online

  Grabbing my bag from the trunk of my car, I gazed up at the gingerbread-style house with disdain—this was my ghost that would haunt me for the rest of my life. I was now the character in one of my novels who kept so many of my readers up at night in fear, but there was no ending to my story. I was destined to live inside the pages of a book to which there was no resolution, no simple answer, no logic as to why things ended in the manner they had.

  I walked up the stairs to the wraparound porch, crossing the threshold into a long foyer. Classical music played in the background as I took in every detail, from the pristine chestnut and walnut staircase to the large stained-glass window in the dining room.

  “Oh, I think that will be beautiful,” the woman, who I assumed was the inn keeper, said to a younger brunette woman as they looked over paint samples. They halted their conversation, and both cast a questioning gaze upon me as I approached them.

  “Mr. Banks.” The inn keeper’s smile transformed from warm and welcoming to a sympathetic stare.

  I nodded, not much in the mood for pleasantries. I just wanted the key to my room and to be on my way.

  “Okay, room eight is all ready and waiting for you.”

  The brunette girl picked up the paint chart and stepped aside. Her intense stare burned into me.

  I jerked my head in her direction, meeting her deep-brown eyes that seemed to look right through me. Her face reddened before she caught herself and looked away.

  “There’s coffee, tea, and lots of goodies in the dining room, then at six o’clock we have wine and cheese hour. We’d love for you to join—”

  “Can I just have the key to the room, please?”

  “Oh yes, sure, Mr. Banks.” The older woman’s eyes widened over my abruptness.

  I made no apologies. I wasn’t here to socialize. I just wanted to be left alone.

  She handed me the key ring and I picked up my bag. “I’m Judith, and my husband, Harry, is around here somewhere. If you need us for anything, please don’t hesitate to let us know.”

  “That won’t be necessary.” I reached my way to the staircase, pausing and looking out onto the front porch where the brunette had moved to take a phone call. She was actually a very attractive girl, and in another life, I would have been flattered to have her checking me out. Chances were, I’d probably be checking her out too and more than likely sweet talking her into my bed within hours of our introduction. But I was numb inside, and women didn’t excite me like they used to. In fact, nothing in life did anymore. Making sure she was deep in conversation with her call, I walked back over to the inn keeper.

  “Yes, is everything okay, Mr. Banks?” She was immediately attentive.

  “Yes, it’s fine. I expect my privacy to be maintained and not be shared with your guests.”

  “Oh, certainly, Mr. Banks. We would never—”

  “Very well,” I cut her off and made my way up the stairs, taking one last glimpse of the brunette, who remained on the porch, throwing her head back and laughing at whoever was on the other end of her phone conversation.

  I turned the key and entered the room. Nothing could prepare me for the immense anxiety that overcame me as I came face-to-face with the last place he had laid his head. Pain shot through my chest, and my breaths shortened as I remembered his deep belly laughs, his blue eyes, and his mile-wide smile. He was the one thing in life I was sure I never wanted, and now I couldn’t live without.

  A deep ache flooded my head. I moved to the window and drew the curtains closed, erasing all signs of the beautiful afternoon outside. Darkness was my life now, the only place I found refuge from my own personal hell. I took a seat on the bed and grabbed my favorite remedy from my bag. Lifting the bottle of Jack Daniel’s to my lips, I took a swig and washed down a pill. Reaching into my bag once again, I pulled out his favorite teddy bear, the one he’d sleep with every night. Sometimes, I swore if I inhaled deep enough, his scent still lingered on this bear.

  I lowered my head onto the pillow with tears pricking my eyes. Squeezing them shut, I tried my best to halt my emotions. I learned at an early age that crying was for sissies, and that lecture usually came during one of my father’s drunken rages as the strap of his belt greeted my back. Manning up and holding it in didn’t matter to me anymore. My father wasn’t here to punish me for it, and in a way, I wish he were. Maybe the physical pain would dull the one in my heart. I pulled the teddy bear into me and allowed my emotions to come to the surface, wondering what his last moments were like for him. Was he scared? Was he crying? Was he wondering why I wasn’t there to save him? A deep sob escaped me as I replayed that image through my mind.

  “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” I whispered, my words barely audible, even to myself.

  My eyes settled on the pills and the bottle of Jack sitting on the nightstand. The antidote to my misery was in my reach. Just a few more pills and a couple more swigs and I could go to sleep forever. The harder I tried to resist the urge, the stronger my desire grew. Peace at last. No more nightmares. No more pain. I’d be free from my chains that were bound to me for the rest of my life. I sat up and reached for the pills. Pouring them in the palm of my hand, I grabbed the bottle of Jack in my free one. I was never a big believer in God and was feeling a bit like a hypocrite for now hoping there was an afterlife, and maybe in a few short moments, I’d be reunited with the only thing that ever mattered to me.

  Chapter 3

  Jenna

  I ENTERED MY NEW ABODE, remembering all the happy memories of my childhood this place held while trying to envision how it would look a few months from now. Hopefully business would be booming and prove everyone who doubted me wrong. I ran my hand across the dusty mantle, appreciating the detail that was put into the original woodworking. I couldn’t wait for the parlor to come alive once again at Christmastime with the fireplace roaring and a beautiful tree decorated in Victorian-era décor. The same way it had been when my aunt and uncle lived here. I knew it wouldn’t be possible for this Christmas since it was only a few months away, but next Christmas for sure. Maybe then Brad would come to appreciate my decision, and maybe even bratty Sophie would grow to love this place. Who wouldn’t want a place by the beach all summer long?

  Judith had given me the name of a few local antique stores where I could find some reasonable period furnishings, and I was planning on checking them out in the next day or so. I couldn’t wait to get working on this place and was hoping to do a lot of the work myself. I was a sucker for those home and garden shows and wanted to take some of those ideas from my lazy days of marathon watching and put them to use.

  “Hello there!”

  I jumped, turning around to find a short, portly woman standing behind me.

  “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. I just saw the door open and thought I’d come in and introduce myself.” She’d obviously picked up on my unease.

  “That’s okay.”

  “I’m Diana Crower. My sister and I own the Sandpiper Inn next door.”

  “Oh, hello. I’m Jenna Delaney.”

  “Yes, Judith was telling me all about you. It’s so nice to finally meet you. I heard so many wonderful things about your aunt and uncle. Unfortunately, they were no longer living here when we took over the business, so I never got to meet them. It’s really a beautiful home. I’m sure you can do wonders with it.”

  “That’s what I’m hoping for.” I smiled and looked around.

  “Do you have a partner to help you run it?”

  “Nope. Just me.”

  She raised an eyebrow and let out a slight gasp. “It’s a lot to take on.”

  And here we go! I had enough negativity from people I knew. I didn’t need it from a complete stranger too. “Yes, I’m sure it will be, but I’m up for the challenge.”

  “That’s the spirit. I can’t wait to see the finished product.”

  We walked out to the front porch and Diana yammered on about the local business owners’ meetings that were held o
nce a month, pausing for a moment to stare at the Porsche parked on the street right in front of us. “Is that your car?”

  I shook my head and laughed. “I wish.”

  “Oh, dear. I hope whoever the owner is comes out soon. There’s no parking on this side of the road on Thursday afternoons so the street sweeper can get down. They took the signs down to replace them and never bothered putting up the new ones, yet they’re still ticketing people for parking there.”

  “That doesn’t seem very fair. How are they supposed to know they can’t park there if there isn’t a sign?”

  “My thoughts exactly. It’s bad enough that our guests don’t have adequate parking, then they’re going to ticket them without warning. No wonder tourism has been down lately. Well, I know it’s no one staying at our place. Maybe it’s someone at Judith’s.”

  “I can ask her. I’m actually staying there for the next few weeks, so I can supervise the renovation going on here.”

  “Oh, that’s wonderful! Well, welcome to the neighborhood.”

  “Thanks,” I replied as we both stepped down from the porch and went on our way.

  Judith was deep in conversation with a much older couple who were checking in. Somehow, they didn’t seem like the type who’d be driving that sporty Porsche 911 that was parked outside. Not wanting to interrupt, I poked my head into the parlor and came up empty upon not seeing any guests. Something in the back of my mind told me it belonged to the guy Judith had checked in just a little while ago. The rugged, mysterious, and somewhat tortured-looking one. I was embarrassed for gawking at him the way I had, but there was something about him that made it impossible to look away. He had an intimidating presence that demanded attention. During my over-assessment of him, I couldn’t help but notice the high-end overnight Gucci bag he was carrying. It was similar to the one I’d wanted to get Brad for his birthday last year until I saw it had a price tag of well over two thousand dollars. There was no doubt in my mind that high-end vehicle definitely belonged to him.

  Judith was still conversing with the couple when I walked back through the foyer. I remembered her telling the man he was in room eight, which happened to be right next to mine. Maybe on the way to my room, I’d give a knock on his door to save him a ticket. I made my way up the steps, stopping when I reached room eight. I knocked gently and stood there for a few moments in silence. He obviously must have gone out.

  Oh well, I tried. Judging by the car he drove and the bag he was carrying, I’m sure he’ll be able to afford a simple parking ticket with no problem.

  I was just about to disappear into my room when the creaking of the doorknob stopped me. He opened the door and rested his head on the frame, staring down at me with bloodshot eyes. My stomach fluttered, and words failed me. He wasn’t pretty-boy gorgeous, but he was gorgeous nonetheless. He was handsome in a very manly way. Just about six feet five inches, with a strong jaw line covered in scruff, steel-blue eyes, perfectly pitched lips, and arms the size of cannons. He didn’t appear to be the type who spent hours in the gym. Something told me that gorgeous body was achieved the old-fashioned way like chopping wood and doing manual labor. He seemed annoyed by my presence as he stood there silently.

  “I-I just wanted to see...” I couldn’t get the words out. What was it about him that had me so flustered? “Does that Porsche out there belong to you?”

  He was mute, and I instantly regretted my decision to knock on his door.

  His deep gaze penetrated through me as he swayed back and forth. I wanted so badly to remove the strand of light-brown hair that was hanging over his left eye. Hardening his stance, he grabbed my wrist and yanked me into his room, slamming the door closed. The strong scent of alcohol permeated from him when he pulled me into him. “Why did you do it?” he demanded.

  “What?” My stomach churned. I was in the clutches of a mad man and there was no one around to save me.

  “Why did you do it?” he asked again, this time louder and fiercer, tightening the grip he had on my arm.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Let go of me! You’re hurting me!” I shouted as I struggled to break free.

  “Why? Tell me why?” he pleaded, his strong demeanor cracking right before my eyes.

  I stared up at him as tears rolled down his face. He may have been a psycho, but in that moment my heart went out to this man.

  “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I whispered calmly, my eyes diverting to the open pill bottle and Jack Daniel’s on the nightstand.

  This guy was worse off than I thought. His guard was now down—the perfect opportunity to go on my way and forget about this little encounter, but I couldn’t. He was obviously upset over something and judging by what I’d just seen on his nightstand, he was distraught enough to not even care about his own well-being. How could I overlook that? If he succeeded what he was more than likely attempting to do, I’d never forgive myself for ignoring the situation. My head was telling me to run, but my heart was telling me to help.

  “Look, mister, I think you need to lie down and sleep this off.” I cautiously reached for his hand.

  He followed without hesitation as I guided him to have a seat on the bed. A vacant stare was cast upon his face, and he was shivering from head to toe. The palm of my hand skimmed his forehead, wondering if a fever was the cause of his confusion, but he was cool to the touch. It was as if he was in this room in body only, his mind someplace far away. I bent down to take off his shoes, questioning my own sanity. Here I was, playing Florence Nightingale to this delusional stranger, who thought I was someone else—someone he clearly had a beef with. That had always been my biggest downfall—I was too trusting and sometimes downright naïve. But at that moment, I was fairly certain this man who towered over me and clearly outweighed me couldn’t do me any harm even if he wanted to. The only harm he seemed to be interested in doing was to himself.

  The cutest little teddy bear caught my eye as I pulled down the bedspread. This was getting more bizarre by the moment. Why would a man who looked well into his thirties be traveling with a teddy bear? As strange as it all seemed, it still didn’t stop me from carrying on with my goodwill mission.

  “Lie down,” I requested, but he was too zoned out to even hear my words. “Please lie down. You’re freezing. You need to get under the covers and warm up.”

  He turned his head in my direction and gazed at me as if he were seeing someone else in my eyes. I gently placed my hand on his shoulder and directed his body down on the bed, his eyes closing the moment his head hit the pillow. I covered him up, and it was only a matter of minutes until his shivering subsided. He looked so at peace as I hovered near him, watching his deep, slow breaths. So different from the man who’d answered the door just a short time ago. I’d done my good deed for the day, and maybe with any luck, this poor man was getting a temporary reprieve from the demons he surely seemed to be battling.

  Chapter 4

  Ethan

  MY EYES PEELED OPEN TO darkness. Where am I and how did I get here? I eased myself up and reached for my phone that was sitting on the nightstand. My memory triggered when I knocked over the open bottle of pills. I’d failed at my attempt, but I’d felt Darrah’s presence earlier. I’d seen her so clearly, touched her soft skin, wanting to take her in my arms, but my festering anger wouldn’t allow it. I was truly losing my mind. I rubbed my hands down the sides of my face and got out of bed on wobbly legs. Drawing the curtain open, I rested my head on the cool glass of the window, peering down at the street below. This tiny seaside town was in a time warp, maintaining the authentic feel of a time gone by while the rest of the world around it lived in the twenty-first century. The gaslit lampposts were just beginning to dim. A new day was dawning, and here I was still trapped in darkness. My stomach panged with hunger. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten, but my need for caffeine overpowered my desire for food.

  After jumping in the shower and getting dressed, I made my way down the s
tairs, hoping to score some coffee and head back to my room unseen. I reached the bottom of the stairs and was greeted by silence. Obviously, 5 a.m. was too early, even by bed-and-breakfast standards. Deciding to trade off caffeine for some fresh air, I stepped outside for a walk before the rest of the world awakened. The cool autumn air that greeted me was a welcoming change from the heat and humidity just a few weeks ago. I loved taking long hikes through the woods at the peak of fall, always my favorite time of year. Something about the shorter days, the changing leaves, and the cool crisp air would always get my creative juices flowing. It was like the calm before the storm. Mother Nature was at the height of her beauty, decked out in fiery shades of orange and red, but like everything in life, it was only temporary. Just around the corner, winter reared its ugly head, sneaking up on her to strip her of all her majesty.

  This quaint little town was a far cry from the desolation of the twenty-acre wooded parcel in the middle of nowhere where I’d normally spend this time of year, tucked away in my one-bedroom fishing cabin, consumed with people who only existed in my head and in my laptop. I’d go for days without eating or sleeping, bringing them to life for my readers. I held power inside my mind, controlling their destiny and deciding if they lived or died. That was what I once existed for, creating different worlds to escape to when reality was too much too bear. I was at the top of my game, shooting for the New York Times bestseller list with my last three releases, one of them already made into a movie and another movie deal on the table. But just like the exquisite autumn leaves that would fade away to winter’s calling, so did everything I thought mattered the most to me. Now I wasn’t sure if I could even create a coherent sentence. The ghosts and villains that once filled the pages of my books now only filled every aspect of my mind.