When Autumn Ends Read online

  “Hey.” I brushed her cheek with my lips.

  “Hey, Aunt Louise.” I greeted her with a kiss as well.

  “Jenna, you’re getting too skinny!” my aunt reprimanded.

  “I’m no skinnier than the last time you saw me.”

  “So, how’s Aunt Liza’s house coming along?” My aunt asked the question my mother had yet to ask, even with her thousand phone calls she’d bombarded me within the last three days.

  “It’s going great, Aunt Louise! Thank you so much for asking!” I pursed my lips and glared at my mother, who looked away, avoiding any confrontation.

  “Hello, Jenna,” Carol, the bridal shop owner, greeted. “Your dress is waiting for you in the fitting room.”

  A deep knot formed in my stomach as I followed behind her, not quite the reaction I’d hoped for at the prospect of seeing myself in my wedding gown. I stepped into the sheath-style dress and waited for her to zip me up. She came around in front of me with a broad smile plastered across her face.

  “You look like you belong in a bridal magazine. This dress was made for you. Have a look,” she coaxed.

  An instant sweat overtook me, and my heart was beating out of my chest. I tried my hardest to steady my shaking legs and find the courage to turn around and look in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, I slowly moved my body and lifted my head, staring at the reflection in front of me, only I didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. Who was this girl?

  “I’m going to get your mother and your aunt. They’re going to flip when they see you.”

  Tears welled in my eyes. Each breath I took was getting harder. I closed my eyes, imaging myself walking down the aisle to Brad, committing myself to him for the rest of my life, and my stomach clenched. I tried desperately to regain my composure before my mother and aunt came in.

  “Jenna!” my mother exclaimed as she entered, tears instantly forming in her eyes.

  “Oh, Jenna, Brad is going to go crazy when he sees you in that dress! I can’t wait to see the look on his face,” my aunt chimed in as tears rolled down my face.

  I didn’t try and stop them, knowing they would think it was because I was overcome with emotion over seeing myself in my dress.

  “Oh, they are going to look so beautiful together,” my aunt continued. “He is movie-star handsome,” she said to the bridal shop owner.

  They continued to talk amongst themselves, and I zoned out completely. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to be staring at myself in a gown I didn’t want to be wearing—ever. I closed my eyes and saw Ethan’s face. His beautiful smile that he seldom displayed, sitting on the beach with him and laughing in the middle of the night, walking through the sunflowers on the perfect fall day. Then it occurred to me, in the few days I’d known him, he’d given me more happy memories than Brad had given me in the few years we’d been together. It was crazy, but true. I deserved to be with someone who made me happy, and maybe that someone wasn’t Ethan, but with each passing day, I knew it wasn’t Brad either.

  Don’t let anyone take away your autumn. Ethan’s voice rang in my head.

  “I-I have to go,” I finally spoke. “Unzip me!” I demanded.

  “Jenna! What’s the matter?” my mother griped.

  “Please just unzip this dress. I have to go.”

  The bridal shop owner rushed to my side and abided by my wishes. I couldn’t step out of that dress fast enough. Once it was off, I could breathe again.

  “Jenna, what’s going on? Are you feeling okay?” my mother asked as I threw my clothes on.

  “Yeah…I mean, no. I have to see Brad.”

  “Jenna!” she shouted as I grabbed my purse and darted out the door.

  I didn’t even remember the drive to Brad’s office. I knew this wasn’t the time or place to do this, but I had to talk to him before I lost my nerve. I sat in my car for some time, trembling before finally mustering the courage to get out. I slammed my car door shut and was frozen when a white SUV pulled into the parking lot and Brad got out. I remained still, watching him walk to the other side. He stuck his head in the open window, kissing the person in the driver’s seat on the lips.

  The woman laughed and as my eyes focused in on her, I realized why she looked so familiar. She was the mother of Sophie’s friend. The same one he’d gone to New York with, the same one I had my suspicions about for a while. He’d made my choice a lot easier now. I knew this was a sign that I was doing the right thing. I got back in my car, not wanting to get into it with him in the middle of the parking lot of his work. I’d at least spare him that humiliation. I was no longer nervous. I was no longer feeling guilty. Oddly enough, Brad’s little indiscretion took a huge weight off my shoulders. I was going to do what I should have a while ago instead of letting things get this far.

  I went to my apartment, grabbed some more things, and stopped in the rental office to pay my rent. Two more months of writing out that check. My lease would be up and I should’ve been moving into Brad’s house, but instead I’d be moving into my new home permanently. I gazed at the clock, wondering if he’d be home from work yet. I shook my head as I drove down the street of his pretentious neighborhood, thankful I was no longer a future resident here. I pulled up to his house and saw his Land Rover in the driveway. I got out of my car, this time on firm legs and with much more confidence. I knocked on the door when, normally, I’d just walk in.

  “Jenna, what are doing here so early, and why are you knocking?” Brad opened the door wider and let me inside as he loosened his tie. He leaned in to kiss me and I backed away.

  “What’s wrong, baby?”

  “How long have you been fucking her?”

  “What? Who?” A nervous laugh escaped him.

  “Andrea’s mother.”

  He shook his head and looked in every direction but mine. “Jenna, I’m not—”

  “Don’t lie to me, Brad!” I shouted. “I saw you getting out of her SUV today.”

  “What! Jenna, really! I went to an awards ceremony at the school with her…that’s it.”

  “Stop! Just stop! I don’t care. I really don’t. I just know I can’t do this.”

  “Can’t do what?”

  “I can’t marry you.”

  “What?” His eyes narrowed. “Jenna, you can’t be fuckin’ serious! You’re calling off our wedding because I attended a school function with—”

  “You kissed her, Brad.”

  He shook his head in defeat.

  “I’m not even mad. Really, I’m not. We’ve been going in two different directions for a while now.”

  “You can’t do this, Jenna. She’s nothing to me, and you’re everything.”

  “I’m sorry, Brad. It’s not what I want.” I slid the ring from my finger and placed it in his hand. He looked down at the sparkling diamond and then back up at me. I searched for some sadness in his eyes, but all there seemed to be was pure and utter disdain.

  He lifted his hand and hurled the ring into the wall. “You fuckin’ stupid bitch. How could you humiliate me like this?”

  “Humiliate you? Really? God, Brad, everything is all about you, isn’t it?” I turned around to exit and he grabbed my wrist. Spinning me around, he clutched tightly to my wrists and slammed me so hard against the wall it took my breath away.

  “Get the hell off me!” I shouted, but that only intensified his anger as he tightened the grip on my wrists.

  “You’re gonna fuckin’ use this as an excuse to everyone for calling off our wedding. Make me the bad guy because you’re a neurotic bitch who can’t make up her mind?”

  I turned my head to look away when his face came closer to mine. He let go of my left wrist just long enough to jerk my head in his direction.

  “Look at me!” he shouted, banging my head against the wall, with a rage to his voice I’d never heard before. He grabbed my left wrist once again as I stood there pinned up against the wall with no other choice than to listen to what he said.

  “You ca
n blame it on me, Brad. I don’t care anymore. Appearances were never my thing. I always left that up to you.” He loosened his grip and backed away, never taking his eyes off me. I knew this was my opportunity to get out of here and never look back, and I was going to take it.

  “I don’t give second chances, Jenna.”

  “And I promise I won’t ask for one.” I started to inch my way closer to the door.

  “Do you really want to know how long I’ve been fucking her?” he shouted just as I was about to leave. “Three months. For the past three months, we’ve been laughing behind your back at how naïve you are.”

  I nodded and remained calm. “Well, lucky for me, I’m not naïve anymore.”

  Chapter 12

  Ethan

  I HAD TO ADMIT, EVEN I WAS impressed with the way the floors in Jenna’s parlor had come out. I’d been correct in my assumption that all they needed was a sanding. The natural finish looked perfect for this room. I hoped Jenna would feel the same way when she saw this surprise she had waiting for her. It took me all day to do, but it was the best therapy I had in a long time. Oddly enough I was able to clear my head over the sound of the sander and focus on something else other than the endless dread racing through my mind.

  I stood back, admiring my work, when the sound of the front door slamming broke my attention. “Jenna, I thought you weren’t coming back until tomorrow.” I sensed she was upset over something and if that weren’t enough her puffy bloodshot eyes were a dead giveaway. She shook her head and I didn’t pry anymore, changing the subject to the floors instead. “What do you think? I figured I’d give it a try and see if you like it and if you didn’t they could just cover it with the new flooring you wanted.”

  She was silent for a moment, but it seemed like eternity, gazing at the floor like she was in some kind of trance. “I-I love it.” She looked up at me and tears gushed from her eyes. A weird reaction for someone who supposedly loved it, but I knew her tears had nothing to do with the floor. “I can’t believe you did this, Ethan, it looks absolutely beautiful. How in the world did you manage this?”

  “I just happened to be in this pretty cool hardware store not too far from here, and I saw they rented sanders and it got me thinking maybe I should give it a try in here. They even delivered it...the rest was easy.” I bent down, wanting her to get a closer look. “Come here,” I requested with a wave of my hand. “See how the nail holes from the old flooring add to the character?”

  She moved her hand to feel the floor, and the sleeve of her shirt rode up, revealing a huge black-and-blue mark around her wrist.

  “What happened?” I asked. Without even thinking, I took her hand in mine and examined her wrist.

  “It’s...nothing.” Her face reddened. She removed her hand from mine and stood up.

  I stood up next to her and grabbed her other arm to find matching bruises on that wrist as well. “Jenna, what the hell happened to you?”

  She bit her bottom lip and couldn’t hold back her emotion any longer. “I-I told him it was over.”

  “What the fuck?” It wasn’t my business. I didn’t know him, and in reality, I barely knew her, but I was pissed as hell. Normally I stayed out of other people’s problems. Even the old me never meddled. Maybe it was because I was too self-absorbed with myself. But she didn’t deserve this. If anything, the dude should have been thankful that she ended it before they made the mistake of getting married. “Jenna, he had no right to do this to you.”

  “I know,” she whispered, wiping away the teardrop that was rolling down her face. “I’m so sorry for turning into this crying mess. It’s just when I saw the floor and how beautiful it was, it made me think about—” She stopped herself.

  “About what?”

  “Just how lucky I am to have crossed paths with you.” She feigned a smile. “I’m totally in love with these floors. I cannot thank you enough. I want to pay you.”

  “Get out of here. It was actually very therapeutic…as you say. I enjoyed doing it. It’s been a while since I’ve done any work like that, and I realized how much I missed it.”

  “Well, if you won’t allow me to give you any money for the floor, can I pay you with a beer at the Irish pub up the street?”

  “Now, that sounds like a plan.” I grabbed my jacket and followed her out.

  ***

  After a few beers Jenna was beginning to open up about what had transpired when she went home. “It was just…I stood there in that wedding gown and felt physically ill.” She chugged down some more beer and continued. “Then when I saw him kiss her, I was actually relieved. That’s not normal, right? Clearly, I’m a nutcase for being almost happy over the fact that my fiancé was kissing another woman.” She sighed heavily. “Now tomorrow, I have to break the news to my mother. Good times!” She raised her eyebrow and flashed a defeated smile.

  “I’m not a relationship expert by any means, but if you weren’t feeling it before you were married, chances are you definitely wouldn’t after.”

  She rested her elbow on the bar and leaned her head on her hand.

  “What?” I asked as she eyed me up.

  “You’re a pretty smart guy.”

  “I wouldn’t say that. I just have a little more experience with…things.”

  “Well, I think you are, and I don’t think it has anything to do with this experience you say you have. So learn how to take a compliment. Okay?”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “Do you have a girlfriend?”

  I shook my head and took a gulp of beer.

  “Who’s Darrah?”

  My eyes widened, and I clammed up, crawling back into the safety of the shell I should have never come out of. It was foolish of me to think I could communicate with the outside world when just the mere mention of her name set my mind spiraling out of control.

  “I’m so sorry, it’s not my business. I shouldn’t have asked. It’s just that day on the beach you thought I—”

  “Can we just go? I’m really tired.”

  “Oh yeah, sure.”

  I threw some money on the bar and walked out ahead of her.

  “I told you I was buying,” she said, running to catch up with me.

  “It’s fine.” Why the fuck did I even become friendly with her? Of course she was going to want to know about my life after broadcasting every aspect of hers to me.

  We reached the inn and I started up the stairs. She caught up to me on the front porch and reached for my hands, taking them in hers.

  “I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry for prying and asking a question you clearly don’t feel comfortable answering. I just assume that everybody is like me and needs to spill their guts to feel better, and I’m sorry for lumping you into that category. Because the truth is, from the first time I met you, I knew you weren’t like everyone else, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. It’s like…” She looked away and shook her head. “God, I can’t even explain it! But you’re so different in the best way imaginable, and if you don’t want to tell me anything about your past, I’m totally okay with it. But please don’t shut me out of your present, because…well, I kinda like being friends with you…a lot. So I’m gonna finally stop rambling and leave you with this.” She stood on her tippy-toes and stretched her neck up to me, planting a warm, soft kiss on my cheek. “Good night, Ethan Banks,” she whispered, her eyes catching mine one last time before heading inside.

  I was frozen by her words. I’d never met anyone who wore their heart on their sleeve in the way she did. I stood in place and stared up at the moon, trying my best to gather my thoughts. I closed my eyes and Jenna’s beautiful face flooded my mind.

  “Good night, Jenna Delaney,” I whispered, hoping that somehow she knew I was feeling the same way about her, even if I’d never be able to say it.

  Chapter 13

  Jenna

  I BURIED MYSELF IN THE TEDIOUS job of wallpaper removal to try and take my mind off my broken engagement, the fact that I was totally blow
ing off my mom, and the look in Ethan’s eyes when I opened my big mouth and asked a question I shouldn’t have.

  He was so screwed up in a way that would send any normal person running far away, but there was something about him that drew me to him. I enjoyed being around him and was attracted to the mystery that followed him. Maybe I was screwed up too.

  My stomach dropped when I heard my phone ringing in the other room. I rushed to grab it, happy to see Amelia’s name flashing across the screen.

  “Thank goodness it’s only you,” I answered.

  “I got your message first thing this morning. Jen…what’s going on?”

  “I called off the wedding. I’m sorry, Amelia. I’ll give you the money for your bridesmaid dress. I just couldn’t—”

  “Hold up, hold up! What exactly happened that made you finally come to your senses?”

  Amelia was never a big fan of Brad’s and she didn’t ever mince words about it either. I gave her the entire lowdown of the past twenty-four hours, just waiting for her to tell me “I told you so.”

  “Oh, Jenna, honey, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to say I’m not happy that you came to your senses sooner rather than later.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I just feel like I’m letting everyone down.”

  “Who are you letting down? Believe me, sweetie, I’m not sweating a couple hundred dollars over a dress in exchange for my best friend’s happiness.”

  “Oh, Amelia, if only my family could be as understanding as you. I’m avoiding my mother like the plague this morning. She’s going to flip out!”

  “Jen, stop worrying about everyone else. Are you happy with your choice?”

  “I am. I really and truly am. I feel so awful for saying this, but a huge weight was lifted from me.”

  “Why do you feel awful for saying it? Brad is an arrogant, insensitive cheater. You should be relieved that you’re rid of him.”

  “Tell me how you really feel, Amelia.” I laughed.

  “You need to go have a rebound fling. Find yourself some hot guy and have a one-night thing.”