A Will To Change (Hope) Read online

  “Oh, my god, Will. I am so sorry. Just call me later.” I felt like such an idiot. I had no right to just barge in on him like this. He grabbed my arm and pulled me into his apartment.

  “What the hell, Will?” the girl said as she quickly slipped her shirt over her head and approached the door. She looked at my eye and covered her mouth with her hand. “Oh, my god! Are you okay?”

  I nodded, turning my head in embarrassment. “I’ll talk to ya later,” Will said, quickly closing the door behind the girl.

  I looked up at him, no longer able to keep up my strong façade, melting into his arms and completely breaking down.

  I took Gabby’s hand and led her over to the couch, then got her some ice and a shot of Jack. I handed her the shot glass. “Here, slam this down. It will help with the pain and calm you down.” She lifted it up to her lips and choked as she chugged it down.

  I held the ice on her eye as she trembled uncontrollably. “Gabby, what happened?”

  She shook her head and tears rolled down her face. “I just didn’t want him ruining my flowers, Will. But he did…every single one of them.” She sobbed and I pulled her closer. I felt absolutely horrible for her. The pain in her eyes. The pain in her voice. Everything about her tonight hurt me deep inside, making me want to kill the son of a bitch that did this to her.

  “Who, Gabby?” I asked, already knowing the answer. “Did your ex-boyfriend do this to you?”

  She looked up at me and nodded. “I shouldn't have said anything to him. I called him a bastard and it set him off. I know how he gets when he's drinking.”

  “This isn't the first time that he's done this to you, is it?”

  She shook her head. “Once before when he was drunk, he pushed me and that's when I ended it. I know you're thinking I'm stupid for staying there with him, but I didn't have a choice.”

  “I'm gonna fuckin’ kill him,” I growled.

  “No, Will. Please. Promise me you won't do anything. He was drunk and -.”

  “Gabby, that’s no excuse. Your fuckin' eye is swollen shut, and you have handprints on your neck.” She moved her hands down to her neck and flinched in pain. That motherfucker should be arrested.”

  “Will, please don't do anything. I have to try and keep the peace just until I can get a place of my own.”

  “What?! Gabby, tell me you are not fuckin' serious! There is no way in hell that you are going back there.”

  “Will, it will be -.”

  “Gabby, you're not! I have an extra bedroom. You can stay here for however long you want.”

  She held up her hand and shook her head. “No, Will. I'm not going to intrude into your life like that.”

  “You're not intruding into my life, Gabby.”

  “I can't.”

  Why the hell did she have to be so damn stubborn? “You can, and you will!”

  She didn't answer. Instead, she broke down into tears again. I hugged her tightly as she rested her head on my chest. “I'm just so tired, Will,” she whispered. Her teardrops rolled down her face and onto my shirt.

  I kissed her on the top of her head. “Then go to sleep, Gabby girl. Everything is going to be okay. I promise. I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.”

  I held the ice on her eye for a little longer while she slept. The girl who had been my angel over these past few months, and who was always so willing to help me out, needed somebody tonight. Gabby had finally cracked that tough exterior that she had up since the day that I met her. I didn’t like seeing her so sad and defenseless. I gently traced the bruise on her eye and fixated my eyes on her neck, imagining how scared she must have been. I gently scooped her up and carried her into the spare bedroom. She whimpered in her sleep and briefly opened her eyes as I placed her down. ”It's okay, Gabby. Go back to sleep,” I whispered. I covered her up and watched her sleep for a little while longer before heading off to bed myself.

  As hard as I tried, I just couldn't keep my promise to Gabby. I was too pissed. I hardly slept all night, and was out the door at 6 am to hit the gym, hoping that it would help release some of my frustration, but it didn't. I remembered where Gabby's apartment building was from the night that I dropped her off. The only thing I didn't know was which apartment was hers. I decided to ask the lady, who was walking her ugly little dog that looked more like a rat on a leash, that was coming out of the building. I pretended her dog was the cutest thing that I had ever seen in hopes that she would give me the information I needed. The last thing I wanted to do was punch the wrong guy in the face. After I was done gushing over her dog, I asked, “Hey, could you tell me which apartment is Gabby Spencer’s? I wrote it down and can't find the paper.”

  “Oh, yeah. Gabby is in two nineteen, right across the hall from me.”

  “Thanks,” I said. It paid to be nice to her mangy little dog.

  I took the stairs instead of the elevator, taking in each door number, finally stopping and knocking on 219. I waited a few minutes before knocking again. I knew the motherfucker was there. It was only 8 am and I was sure he was sleeping it off. It took everything inside of me to not haul off and sucker punch him when the door finally opened.

  “Can I help you?” he asked, rubbing his eyes.

  “Yeah. You want step out here and fight like a man, or do you want me to come in there?”

  “Who the hell are you?”

  “I'm a very good friend of Gabby's, jerkoff.”

  His eyes widened. “I don't know what the hell that bitch told you, but I was drunk.”

  “She didn’t have to tell me anything, cock sucker. Did you see what you did to her, or where you too drunk to even remember?” I moved in closer. “So now it’s time to see how tough you really are and fight a man, instead of punching around some little girl who's half your size.”

  “You need to get out of here before I call the police.”

  “Go right ahead. I know half of them in this city. I'm sure they would all like to see exactly what you did to Gabby last night.”

  He stared at me blankly. “What the fuck do you want from me? An apology to Gabby?”

  “No. I want you to take your best shot. You're such a tough guy? Try hitting a man instead of a woman and let's see how tough you really are.”

  “Well, that's not happening. What, so you can tell your cop buddies that I assaulted you?”

  I shook my head and smiled. “What's the matter? You’re not a big tough guy when it comes to someone your own size?” I grabbed his shirt, pulling him out into the hallway and throwing him up against the wall. My forearm was pressed roughly into his trachea. ”Gabby is going to get her stuff from here today and you will not be here. Do you understand?” He nodded as he gasped for air. “I so want to fuck you up right now, but I promised Gabby I wouldn't.” I looked at him in disgust. It was taking everything in me not to seriously hurt him, but I saw Gabby's face in my mind begging me not to. I loosened my grip and started to walk away.

  “You can have that little whore. She’s all yours.” He just couldn’t leave well enough alone and I was a little thankful for it. The satisfaction of my fist meeting the side of his face was the greatest feeling in the world. “Now you know how Gabby feels,” I said, looking down at him on the ground before walking away.

  My eye was throbbing as I tried my best to open it. I finally focused in with my good eye, sitting up in bed, trying to figure out where I was. Once I had woken up a little more, I remembered everything about last night and how horrible it was. I don’t know what I would have done if it weren’t for Will. I looked at the clock and was shocked to see that it was 9:07. I never slept this late. I stretched my body one last time before getting out of bed and stumbling into the bathroom. The sight of my eye in the mirror made my stomach drop. I couldn’t believe that I let him do this to me. I was not some battered defenseless woman, but looking in the mirror, that’s exactly how I appeared. I was so thankful to be off from work today, but didn’t know how I was going to face everyone tomorrow looking
like this. I wasn’t quite sure which was worse…the pain or the embarrassment.

  I threw some cold water on my face, hoping that it would magically fix the situation and make me look somewhat more human. No such luck. The tube of toothpaste sitting on the shelf was a reminder that I didn’t even have a toothbrush or any of my clothes. I felt like one of those abused women who left their home in the middle of the night to escape into some underground protective ring, and I hated it. That’s not who I was. My dad always taught me to be strong and stand up for myself no matter what, and it just pissed me off that I let the bastard take away everything that I was taught. I wasn’t weak, but the girl looking back at me in the mirror told another story. I placed some toothpaste on my finger and brushed my teeth as best I could. My hair looked a mess. It was soaking wet when I had gotten out of the shower last night and had dried into one big knot. I looked around the bathroom drawers for a hair brush, without much success. I did my best to comb through the knots with my fingers, and was happy to see my trusty elastic band around my wrist. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, fixing that problem as best I could for now.

  I stepped into the hallway and made my way to the kitchen just as Will was coming through the front door. He was balancing two cups of coffee and a bag in one hand, and a vase full of flowers in the other. I hurried up and took the vase from his hand. I couldn’t contain my smile when I noticed that it contained all of the same flowers from the arrangement that he had given me the other day. “And don’t let anybody step on those!” he teased.

  “I won’t. I promise,” I said as I moved them closer to my nose, inhaling their sweet fragrance. “Thank you so much, Will…for everything. I don’t know what I would have done last night if -.”

  “Don’t thank me, Gabby. You’re my friend and I do whatever I can for my friends.”

  “Well, then, I’m very lucky to be considered one of your friends.”

  He lifted my chin up and looked at my eye. I could see the pain and disgust in his own eyes just looking at it. “I wasn’t sure how you liked your coffee so there’s creamer and sugar in the bag with the bagels.”

  “Thanks, Will. You didn’t have to do this.”

  “Will you stop thanking me? You’re starting to make me feel like I’m a nice guy or something. You know I have a reputation that I have to live up to.”

  “Okay, you’re an ass. Is that better?” I giggled.

  “That’s more like it,” he answered, flashing me his beautiful smile.

  “I can’t believe I slept this late. You should have woken me up,” I said.

  “What for? You’re off today and you were tired. Besides, I was up and out by six o’clock. I didn’t think you would have wanted me waking you up that early.”

  “Six o’clock? Where the heck did you go that early?”

  “The gym, the florist, the bagel place. You know, this new roommate of mine is high maintenance.”

  “Haha, you are so funny,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to warm up. “Did the temperature drop from yesterday?”

  “Yeah, it did. About twenty degrees,” he said. He walked off to his bedroom without saying a word, coming back out with a black hoodie. “Here, put this on,” he said, tossing it to me as he took a seat across from me at the kitchen table.

  I slipped it over my head and began to immediately warm up. I placed my hands in the pockets and smiled, breathing in his musky scent. I couldn’t help but notice his red, swollen knuckles on his left hand when he lifted up his coffee. I knew he was a lefty which meant… “Will, what did you do?” I scolded as I grabbed his hand and looked it over.

  “Hey, he started it. I just finished it.” He raised his eyebrows, very nonchalantly.

  Even though I was a little pissed at him for going against my wishes, I couldn’t help but want to hug him for being so noble and standing up for me. I leaned over the table, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

  “Thank you…ass!”

  After we finished up breakfast, Will drove me to my apartment to get my things. I was a little nervous that Evan was going to be home. I held my breath as I opened the door and looked around, finally letting it all out when I realized that he wasn't there.

  ”I'm just going to grab all my important stuff. You know…clothes, shoes, more shoes,” I joked.

  I went into my closet, grabbing the things that I wore the most. Luckily, I had all my winter clothes already stored away in a bin, making it much easier to transport. I went around, throwing all of my essentials into boxes while Will waited patiently, carrying the boxes down to his jeep.

  I went into the kitchen one last time, making sure that I didn't forget anything. Looking down at the floor, I saw one lonely yellow rose petal from the floral arrangement that Will had given me. I bent down to pick it up and smiled before placing it in a Ziploc bag. It was all that I had left from something that had meant so much to me. I wanted to preserve it forever.

  “A lone survivor,” I smiled up at Will as he walked back in to get more boxes. He smiled back as I stuck the Ziploc bag into the box

  “Hello...?” I cringed at the voice coming from the door.

  “Shit!” I whispered to Will.

  “Who is it?” he asked.

  “My mother.”

  “What's going on?” She walked inside with a birthday present in her hand, which I was assuming was for me. She looked around at the pile of boxes, then at Will before finally focusing on me. “Oh, my god, Gabby! What happened to your eye?” she asked, covering her mouth with her hand.

  “Well, I would tell you, but I wouldn't want you to think I was being a drama queen,” I snapped.

  She moved in closer to get a better look. “Gabby, what the hell happened?”

  “What do you think happened, Mom?”

  “Did Evan do this to you?”

  “I think I'm done,” I said, turning my attention to Will, completely ignoring my mother.

  “Well, where are you going to go?” she asked.

  “Don't worry about it.”

  “Gabby, stop acting like such a little bitch. Honestly. I could see where you could drive someone to do this to you.”

  My heart sank. I knew that my mother didn't have a maternal bone in her body, but hearing her say that hurt big time. “Just leave now!” I shouted, trying my hardest not to cry in front of her, not to mention put Will in a very uncomfortable situation.

  “Gabby, I didn't mean anything by it. All I'm saying is that I know Evan has been really stressed at work. Andre has been working closely with him and his dad, trying to put together this multi-million dollar real estate advertising campaign.”

  The pain in my heart that I was feeling just a few moments ago had now turned into pure rage. “You are unbelievable! Look at me, Mom! Look what he did to me!” I shouted, taking a step closer to her, giving her a good look. She quickly looked away. I could no longer hold back the tears. “You're supposed to be my mother. The one person that I could depend on and who always has my back. But, instead, you're going to make excuses for him and basically tell me that I deserved this. Why? Because you're afraid that this little business deal that your husband has going on might not go through?”

  Her eyes became glassy and part of me wondered how long it took her to conjure up tears in that ice cold heart of hers.

  “Come on, Gabby,” Will said, grabbing the last box and wrapping his arm around me as I did my best to wipe away the tears.

  Silently, we walked down the steps and out the door. I stood and waited for him to load up the last box into the back of his jeep. He unlocked my door and looked down at me. “Are you okay?” he asked.

  I nodded, wiping away the last of my tears. He stared at me with his hand on the door handle. “Really, I’m good.” I forced a smile. He opened my door for me and I reached up and hugged him. “Thanks, Will.”

  He hugged me back and I felt my pain washing away. “Thank you…what?” he teased.

  I giggled. “Thank you, ass. Yo
u big, old, nasty ass…thank you!”

  “That a girl! And you’re welcome.”

  He was far from being an ass. He was my knight in shining armor. The one and only friend that I knew I could always depend upon.

  I couldn't believe the way Gabby’s mother treated her. I knew that she was hurting emotionally but, as she ran around unpacking, she put on her best smile the way she always did when something was bothering her. I tried to help her, but she shooed me away, telling me that she had her own little system in place. I didn’t put up a fight. I just took a seat on the couch with my Xbox.

  Two hours later, Gabby was flopping down next to me, exhaling loudly. “Moving is exhausting.”

  “So, you're all settled?”

  “Pretty much. I'm so sorry for putting you in that uncomfortable situation with my mother earlier.”

  I was the last person that she needed to be apologizing to about putting people in uncomfortable situations when it came to fighting with their parents. I had gotten into more fights with my old man at the most inappropriate times than I could remember. But, as stubborn as my dad could be, I knew that when it came down to it, he would always be there for me. He looked like “Parent of the Year” compared to Gabby's mother.

  I waved my hand in the air. “Ah, that was nothing compared to the knockdown, drag out fights that I've gotten in with my dad.”

  “Is it wrong of me to say I hate my own mother?” I could see the pain in her eyes as she posed that question. “She just…ugh!” She shook her head in disgust. “You know, that's why I never want to have kids. I'm so afraid I'm going to turn out like her.”

  “Gabby, you are nothing like that. You are a very caring and giving person.”

  “I don't know. She just makes me question everything about myself.”

  “Well, don't ever question that, Gabby.” I put my hand on her shoulder and she smiled up at me.

  “Hey, can I try?” she asked, looking down at the Xbox controller in my hand.