A Will To Change (Hope) Read online

  “Knock yourself out!” I said as I relinquished my controller to her. I couldn’t stop laughing as I watched the man that she was controlling running around aimlessly, clueless as to what she was supposed to do. I tried my best to coach her, but it was no use. Her frustration level was rising and she was stringing together curse words that I had never even heard. “Whoa, little girl. What’s with the language?” I laughed.

  After she had gotten herself killed for what seemed like the hundredth time, she handed me back the controller. “Oh, finally givin' up?”

  “This game sucks!”

  “Don’t hate the game; hate the player.”

  “You got that reversed, dummy!” She smirked.

  “Uh, I don’t think so…dummy.”

  She squinted her eyes and stuck her tongue out at me. “So, now, let’s discuss the particulars.”

  “Like?” I raised my eyebrow at her.

  “Well, I don’t want to interfere with the brothel that you run here.”

  I couldn’t hold back my laughter. “Ah, come on, Gabby girl. You could be the Madam.”

  She giggled and shook her head. “Nah, I’ll pass, thanks. But seriously, Will. I don’t want you to feel like you have to rearrange your life just because I’m here. So if you know ahead of time, just -.”

  “Gabby, will you stop? I don’t feel like that. Besides, I prefer to do those things at their place. That way, I can make a quick getaway and I don’t get stuck changing the sheets.”

  She busted out with laughter. “You are too much!” She took a sip of her water that she had sitting on the table. “Okay, next item.”

  “And what would that be? Leaving the toilet seat up, or putting the toilet paper on the roll?”

  “Umm, no. Rent, silly.”

  I held up my hand and she immediately shook her head. “Oh, no way, Will. There is no way in hell that I'm staying here without paying rent.”

  “Gabby, I don't need money from you. Really, I don't. I have an extra bedroom and I'm helping out a friend.”

  “No, Will! If you don't -.”

  “If I don't what? What are you gonna do, Gabby girl? Pack up all those boxes that you just took two long hours unpacking and leave?” I teased.

  “Will, if I have to smuggle money into cavities of your body while you're sleeping, I will!”

  “Hmmm… That sounds like it could be fun.”

  She sighed heavily, still not wanting to admit defeat. “Will, come on!” she pleaded.

  “Just chill out, Gabby.”

  “You know I'm not letting this go.”

  By the look in her eyes and her stubbornness that she always so freely displayed, I knew that she wouldn’t. “Hey, are you a good cook?” I asked, trying to switch the topic.

  She creased her forehead in confusion. “Yeah, why?”

  “Okay, good first month's rent. You can cook me dinner tonight.”

  “I was planning on doing that anyway, and one lousy dinner does not make up for a whole month of rent.”

  “Oh, Gabby, you're talking to a guy who has nothing but Ramen Pride noodles and Chef Boyardee in his cabinets. A home cooked meal is worth more than gold to me.”

  She got up from the couch and looked down at me. “Come on.”

  “Where to?”

  “We’re going food shopping.” She flashed me that adorable smile, making it impossible to refuse.

  Will and I took the short walk to the little Italian grocery store on the corner. He held the door open for me, allowing me to enter before him. I looked around, trying to figure out what to make him for dinner. I wanted it to be something extra special. He followed behind me like a little kid as I walked up and down the aisles.

  “What do you feel like eating?” I asked. He shrugged his shoulders. “Well, what do you like?” He shrugged his shoulders once again. “You're not making this easy,” I said.

  “Surprise me,” he smirked.

  “Okay, but you have to eat everything on your plate.”

  “No problem.”

  I grabbed a basket and flung it over my arm. I lifted my sunglasses, placing them on top of my head as I sifted through the artichokes, completely forgetting about my black eye. I quickly shifted them back down once I remembered.

  “What the hell are those?” Will asked.

  “Artichokes. You've never had one before?”

  He shook his head. “Umm…nah. They don't look very appetizing.”

  “Oh no, Will. They are so good! Remember, everything on your plate!” He rolled his eyes as I placed two artichokes into a plastic bag.

  I finished picking out everything that we needed for dinner, plus a few extra items that I knew Will didn't have…bread, milk, and the one thing that I couldn’t live without - flavored creamer for my coffee. I had made sure that I took my Keurig and all of my k-cups from my apartment. I had bought that as a birthday gift for myself last year and there was no way in hell that Evan was going to get custody of it. After talking to the butcher for about fifteen minutes and finally deciding on pork chops, I turned to Will. He was rolling his eyes behind my back. “I think I'm done.”

  “Finally!” He let out a deep breath.

  I shook my head and laughed. “You are such a little boy.”

  We stood in line while Will entertained himself reading all of the gossip rags on the side of the register. “Thank god!” he huffed once all of the groceries were rung up. He pulled out his wallet.

  “Put that back right now!” I scolded.

  “Why?” He looked at me like I was crazy.

  “Because I got this. Remember our deal. I'm cooking you dinner!”

  “Yeah, the deal was you cook it. I didn't say anything about you paying for it.”

  “Will McAdams, put that wallet away right now, or I will lift my sunglasses and introduce you to all of the bitchy housewives in here as my abusive husband, Butch.” He still had his wallet out, starting at me as if he was testing me. “You know I'll do it, Will!” I placed my hands on the side of my sunglasses and he immediately put his wallet back into his pocket. “I thought you’d see things my way.” I giggled.

  “That was really good, Gabby girl,” Will said, taking the last bite.

  “Thank you! And you even learned how to eat an artichoke tonight. Do you feel a little smarter?”

  “Oh yeah!” He rolled his eyes. “Hey, remind me to give you a key. I gotta start my twenty-four hours on tomorrow so I won’t be around. Are you going to be scared sleeping here alone?” he teased.

  I shook my head and smiled. His talk about work was a painful reminder that I had to go back in tomorrow and face everyone looking like this. Anger instantly shot through my body, thinking about Evan and the fact that I had let him do this to me. I had only hoped that his face was as bad as mine after Will had gotten done with him. Suddenly, the great time that I had just been having with Will was clouded with thoughts of Evan, my mother, and facing the world tomorrow.

  “What’s wrong?” Will asked as I got up to clear the table. It amazed me how he was able to read me so well.

  “Hmm? Oh, nothing,” I said, putting on a fake smile.

  “Gabby…?”

  “Just thinking about facing everyone at work tomorrow looking like this.”

  He looked at me sympathetically. “Just keep your sunglasses on all day and tell your patients that you’re a famous movie star,” he teased.

  “I wish.”

  “Gabby, you have nothing to be ashamed of. The motherfucker that did this to you does.”

  “But, in a way, I do. I mean, I let him do this to me. I should have fought back instead of -.”

  “Gabby, don’t. He’s twice your size.”

  I nodded, knowing that he was right, but it still didn’t change the fact that I felt like a helpless little girl. He got up and started helping me clean up.

  I shook my head. “No! Sit back down. I got this.” I demanded.

  He totally ignored me as he loaded the dishes in the dishwasher.
“Will!” I shouted.

  “Will you just shut up? Otherwise, I just might have to turn into Butch, the abusive husband.”

  I smacked him with the dishtowel and giggled. “Oh, Will, something tells me you could never turn into Butch, even if you tried.”

  Gabby and I had been roommates for six weeks and it was working out great. I loved having her around, and I found that I really missed her on the days that our work schedules didn’t jive with each other’s. As weird as it was for me to admit, it was nice to have a woman around. Maybe it was because Gabby wasn’t your typical pain in the ass woman. She didn’t nag, she didn’t ask anything of me, she was fun to be around. She loved to cook, which was a big plus for me. She always made sure that she packed something for me to take into work, whether it was for dinner, lunch, or just stuff that she would bake. Of course, I had to hear shit from all of the guys, but I didn’t care. She was a damn good cook. I had the last laugh when their mouths would water as they watched me eat my delicious homemade food while they ate their greasy fast food.

  As I entered my apartment, exhaustion was finally settling in. I was up half the night with three different calls. I just wanted to jump in the shower, go to sleep, and not wake up for another seventy-two hours, which was when my next shift was to begin. Gabby gasped and gave an extra tug to the towel that she had wrapped around her when she opened the bathroom door and saw me standing on the other side. “Look the other way, please!” she said, running off to her room. I laughed. Once she was past me, I quickly turned around just to get a little peek before she closed the bedroom door behind her.

  I turned on the shower, letting the water warm up as I undressed. My whole body ached. It had been a rough twenty-four hours. Stepping into the shower, I stood under the warm flow, feeling like I could fall asleep. Gabby's voice broke me from my trance. “I'm just gonna brush my teeth really quick,” she shouted over the running water. I poured the shampoo into my hand and rubbed it into my hair, pouring a little more when I wasn't getting much of a lather.

  “What the fuck is up with this shampoo?”

  “What do you mean?” Gabby asked, her mouth full of toothpaste.

  I picked up the bottle and even through my tired eyes, I could see the words Feminine Wash as clear as day. “Ah, Gabby!”

  “Are you having problems in there, Will?”

  “Yeah, I am.” I reached around the shower curtain with the bottle.

  “Oops, sorry,” she giggled, taking it from my hand. “That's not meant for you.”

  “Yeah, well, I already used it.”

  “Oh my god. Where?” She busted out with laughter.

  “On my hair!”

  I could hear her laughter getting louder as she exited the bathroom. I quickly put real shampoo in my hair and finished showering.

  Gabby was standing outside the bathroom door with her coat on, and her travel mug of coffee in her hand. Her smirk that she was trying to hold in quickly turned into a full-fledged grin. “What's the matter, Will? Were you having one of those ‘not feeling so fresh’ kinda days?” She bent over, holding her side, laughing hysterically as tears rolled down her face.

  “You are just so funny,” I said, sarcastically, trying my hardest not to laugh.

  She tried to catch her breath. “Go get some sleep before you start doing something with my tampons that you shouldn't,” she teased, sending her into another fit of laughter.

  I lifted my head off my pillow and was surprised to see that it was almost dark outside. Damn, I must have been exhausted; normally, I would only sleep for four or five hours during the day. I was starving so I got out of bed and went into the kitchen. Gabby was working until seven so I was on my own for dinner. When I opened up the refrigerator, I was pleasantly surprised to find a container with a note on top.

  Dearest William,

  Since I know that you are unable to boil water and being the nice person that I am, I made your favorite, Chicken Parmigiana, last night. Heat it up for a minute-and-a-half (that's 90 seconds) and then check it. If it's still not warm enough, put it in for another 30 seconds. NO longer than that or it will overcook and the last thing you want to do is choke your chicken (or maybe you do…sorry, couldn’t resist). There’s some German chocolate cake in the fridge for dessert, too.

  You're welcome.

  The bestest roommate ever,

  Gabby

  She was such a smart ass, a smart ass that I was finding myself missing when she wasn't around. I laughed to myself, remembering her reaction to my mishap with the shampoo this morning. I was going to have to think of some way to pay her back for that one.

  After I was done eating, I finally made the dreaded phone call back to my mother, letting her know that I would be at Jamie and Hope’s house for Thanksgiving. I flopped down on the couch, trying to find something on TV. I was just about to rent a movie from Netflix, but decided to wait for Gabby to get home so we could watch one together. My phone was blowing up with text messages from Janelle and Tabitha so I decided to turn it off completely. I didn’t feel like dealing with any of them tonight. I was actually looking forward to just hanging out with Gabby.

  I was flicking through the channels, hoping I was hearing things and that someone really wasn’t knocking on my door. Fuckin’ crazy bitches. If I’m not answering your damn texts, get the fuckin’ hint! I threw the remote down and reluctantly got up to answer. “Come on, douche bag. Open up!” I was relieved to hear Peterson’s voice instead of a female one. I flung the door open to find him and two other guys from work, Tim and Adam, on the other side. Each of them was holding a twelve pack of beer under his arm as Peterson pushed his way in.

  “What the fuck’s going on?” I asked.

  “Umm…we’re having a card game here.”

  “What the fuck is wrong with one of your places?”

  “Well, Tim’s girl is home. Adam’s mom is at his place.” Peterson and Tim both began to laugh.

  “Shut the fuck up. She’s visiting from Florida,” Adam said.

  “Yeah, and what’s wrong with your apartment, Peterson?” I asked.

  “My cleaning lady just cleaned today. I don’t want to mess it up. We were supposed to have it at Flynn’s house until his old lady started ragging on him about us being there.”

  “Oh, so you assholes planned a card came that I wasn’t even invited to, but now I am invited because you have no place else to have it?”

  “Pretty much, d-bag. I’m kidding. I texted you and called you. It went right to voicemail,” Peterson said, handing me a bottle of beer.

  We took a seat at the kitchen table. “Oh, shit. The missus isn’t going to get mad that we’re here, is she?” Peterson teased, causing Tim and Adam to burst out in laughter.

  I creased my forehead and gave him a look of warning. “Man, Will, you are fuckin’ crazy! I can’t believe you haven’t been hittin’ that shit already. She is one cute little piece of ass,” Tim said as he shuffled the cards.

  “Could you guys just shut up with that!?” I snapped.

  “With what?” Tim asked.

  “Talkin’ about Gabby that way.”

  “Oh, don’t say anything about Will’s precious little Gabby,” Peterson said.

  “Shut the -.” I stopped myself when I heard my apartment door open. Gabby walked into the kitchen and all three of them stared at her like they had never seen a woman before.

  “Hey, guys!” Gabby flashed them her adorable smile as she went in the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “Whatcha playin’?”

  Peterson finally put his tongue back in his mouth long enough to speak. “Poker.” He checked her out from head to toe, and I could feel myself getting more and more pissed off.

  “Will, did you eat the chicken that I made you?”

  “Yup. It was great.” All three of them looked up at me and I knew that I was going to get teased once Gabby left the room, but I didn’t care. They were just jealous because they didn’t have a beautiful woman cooking for them.<
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  “Hey, Gabby, where ya goin’?” Peterson asked as she was walking out of the kitchen.

  “Oh, I need to get changed.” She gave him a quick smile before exiting the room. I was praying that she didn’t change into those pants that she would always wear when she did her exercise videos, the ones that made her already perfect ass look even more perfect. Not that I minded seeing her in them, but I didn’t want any of these guys to be privy to that.

  “Oh, Gabby, Gabby, Gabby. What a sweet ass you have!” Tim said in a loud whisper.

  “Hey, thanks!” Gabby screamed from the hallway.

  We all laughed, except for Tim. His eyes widened. “How the fuck did she hear me?” The look on his face was priceless, making me forget that I was a little pissed off at him for talking that way. I decided that I would ease up a bit and quit worrying about these jokers being around Gabby. She wasn’t like most girls. She had this all under control and could handle these perverts with one hand tied behind her back. So instead of getting pissed at their crude statements, I was just going to sit back and enjoy the fun.

  I went into my room and changed into my sweats and a t-shirt. After working for seven days straight, three of which were doubles, I couldn’t wait to be off for the next three days. I had been avoiding reading the text message that had come through from my mother earlier in the day. I hadn’t spoken to her since that day at my apartment. I was still so hurt and wasn’t ready to talk to her. Taking a deep breath, I finally picked up my phone to read the text.

  We’re not going to Palm Springs for Thanksgiving so if you would like to join Andre and me for dinner, please let me know so I can call the restaurant and adjust the reservation.

  Was she serious? Why didn’t she just send out a formal invitation with a card to RSVP? I didn’t know why anything that she did surprised me. A normal mother would have apologized for the way she had treated me that day. Actually, a normal mother would never have treated her daughter the way that she did, or said the things that she had said to me. I quickly hit delete. I didn’t plan on having Thanksgiving with her and her husband, and I didn’t even plan on responding. I would be perfectly fine spending the day alone. It had crossed my mind to maybe volunteer to go into work so I would at least have my patients to spend the holiday with, but the thought of having three consecutive days off trumped that thought.